by Nicole Comis | Mar 9, 2020 | Goals, Life Balance
Having a healthy life balance is crucial to our happiness and well-being. Yet, it’s impossible to allocate our time evenly between all the important areas of our lives, especially when we are pursuing BIG career goals.
So, how do we create more balance?!?
It starts with how we view “life balance.” If you look at life balance as to how you allocate your time, it’s going to be pretty freaking hard to achieve it. But if you look at “life balance” as to how fulfilled you are in the important areas of your life, it’s totally possible!
So, how can you achieve BIG, stretchy career goals AND have a kickass personal life? Here are some tips to help you:
Create Goals that Create Life Balance
Write down your goals for your personal and professional life with a plan for how you’re going to achieve them. Create goals for your career, relationships, health and wellbeing, personal growth, finances, and whatever else is important to you.
Don’t freak out…you don’t have to incorporate big stretchy goals with a ginormous plan for every area of your life.
For some, it can be as simple as writing down the actions you’re committed to taking, so you don’t lose sight or focus on that area of your life. For example, your romantic relationship goal could be as simple as planning a monthly date night and an annual weekend getaway with your partner. A financial goal could be committing to balancing your checkbook every month or putting a certain amount into savings each month.
The intention is to keep you present to your “whole” life while you’re going after your BIG career goals. You know…to create life balance!
Evaluate Your To-do List
Most of us have obligations on our calendar and to-do list that’s not in alignment with our vision and goals. Take time to think about what you can say ‘no’ that isn’t important, fun, or that you don’t enjoy.
It’s okay to delegate the things that take a lot of your time or energy, or the stuff you don’t enjoy doing… in fact, it’s smart!
A few years ago, I had a client that was spending a ton of time doing admin work that she was resistant to paying someone else to do. It wasn’t until I pointed out how much money she was losing by not using that time seeing clients that she realized the importance of delegating.
Where’s your time and energy best spent? Honestly evaluate what skills you want to learn and which makes more sense to have someone else do for you. There are tons of experts out there to help you in the areas you aren’t skilled at or don’t enjoy doing.
Be intentional with your time
It can be easy to get distracted when you don’t have a plan in place, which is why I’m a big fan of planning your day the night before. It’ll allow you to wake up with a game plan for your day, which will also prevent reactive decision-making.
Review your calendar for what you have scheduled for the day, and then decide what other actions you’ll commit to accomplishing. But be realistic. If you have a full day of appointments, don’t commit to a bunch of other time-consuming tasks.
Celebrate your Achievements
When was the last time you took the time to acknowledge, let alone celebrate your accomplishments? So many of us overlook the things we accomplish because we’re so focused on the future and the next goal. Taking the time to acknowledge your achievements from small successes like you got up early and went to the gym, to big achievements like enrolling a new client, will help build your confidence and happiness, and will add fuel to your motivation!
Do yourself a favor and take the time to acknowledge your accomplishments and successes…even the little ones deserve to be celebrated.
Gratitude
While you go after those BIG, stretchy goals and strive for creating “more” in your life, take time to be grateful for what you already have. Having a regular practice where you acknowledge and celebrate the good you have in your life will help to increase your happiness.
Health and wellbeing
Our health and wellbeing affects the quality of our lives and the quality of our work. You cannot show up as your best self if you’re not taking care of yourself so, please make your wellbeing your number one priority. Like the flight attendants say on an airplane: “put your oxygen mask on first”!
We are much happier, more productive, and a heck of a lot more fun to be around when we take care of ourselves.
Unplug from Work
I know it can be easier said than done but practice disconnecting from work so you can focus on your personal needs. Commit to a time when you will stop working each night and take time off on the weekends to enjoy your life.
Take this time to focus on self-care…read a book, connect with your significant other, chat with a friend, hang with your kiddos, or whatever will support you in recharging.
Relationships
We are happier and more fulfilled when we have love and connection in our lives. So, make time for the important relationships in your life. I’m talking quality time and connection, not just sitting in front of the TV. Take the time to really connect with your family and friends. Plan a date with your significant other, go for a walk with a friend, play a game with your kiddos.
Positive Community
“You need to associate with people that inspire you, people that challenge you to rise higher, people that make you better. Don’t waste your valuable time with people that are not adding to your growth. Your destiny is too important.” Joel Osteen
Surround yourself with positive, supportive, happy people whenever you can and limit the time you spend with energy suckers. You know who I’m talking about – the complainers, people with negative attitudes…anyone who depletes your energy. You may not be able to avoid them all the time, but do what you can to reduce the time you spend with them or “tune them out” as much as possible.
Fun and laughter
I’m intentional about incorporating fun and laughter into everything I do. What can you do to make each area of your life more fun and enjoyable?
Build friendships with the people you regularly see at the gym. Have a monthly happy hour with your co-workers. Listen to fun music while you work. Find ways to incorporate fun and laughter into everything you do!
We are more than just our careers, so when you focus all your energy on your career goals, you rob yourself of happiness. Plus, when we aren’t fulfilled in our personal life, it takes more energy to achieve our career goals.
AND you deserve to enjoy your life WHILE creating a kickass career. After all, why are you working so hard, anyway? Isn’t it so you can enjoy living?!?
by Nicole Comis | Feb 11, 2020 | Goals
To help me get clear on my vision and goals for the year, I do a fun exercise where I write myself a letter from the end of the year. I describe the future vision of my life as if I’m talking to a close friend. I dig in deep, starting with how I feel when I wake up in the morning. I talk about what my life looks like, how I feel, and what I’ve achieved along the way. When I want to focus on my long-term goals, I will do the same exercise but looking ahead 3-5 years.
I make my vision so juicy that it pulls at my heartstrings and becomes the “fuel” to my motivation.
Once I’m clear on the vision, I create a plan for how I’m going to achieve it. Taking time to do this not only prepares me to stay focused on my BIG, stretchy goals but helps me stay on track throughout the year.
You can’t hit a target that you can’t see, so…
Connect with your future vision
Journal what you want your life to look like over the next 12 months. Living a happy and healthy life is all about finding YOUR balance, so be sure to include your vision for your career, relationships, health and well-being, spirituality, and any other area of life that is important to you.
Describe each area of your life the best you can. What does it look like? How does it make you feel? What have you achieved along the way? If you get stuck, look at someone you admire for inspiration.
Don’t forget to include the reasons why you want to achieve these goals in each area of your life. Your “why” is what connects your heart to your goals and will keep you committed to them, especially when things get tough. If you’re not clear on your “why,” it’s harder to stay motivated when “life happens,” which it always does!
Create a powerful plan.
Someone said to me the other day, “what if I like to fly by the seat of my pants?”
Here’s the truth: When it comes to your goals, flying by the seat of your pants is like throwing noodles against the wall and hoping they’ll stick. You need a kickass plan to help you achieve your BIG goals.
Achieving your BIG goals will require you to do things differently than you have in the past, step outside of your comfort zone, and practice new behaviors and habits…ALL of which should be included in your plan.
“Our goals can only be reached through a vehicle of a plan in which we must fervently believe, and upon which we must vigorously act. There is no other route to success.” -Pablo Picasso
Make your well-being your #1 priority
I may sound like a broken record when it comes to this, but your well-being is the foundation of everything you do or don’t do. A healthy body, mind, and spirit is an essential part to achieving your BIG goals.
Take some time to think about the things that give you energy and make your heart smile, and incorporate them into your plan!
Create powerful morning and evening routines
I found countless articles stating that successful people contribute their success to creating a routine that supports their goals. Most of them include getting up early, exercising, being grateful, planning their day, and reflecting.
Something as simple as making your bed in the morning will set the tone for the rest of your day.
Create a nightly habit where you review your day. Reflect on your challenges so you can learn those valuable lessons and find areas to improve. Don’t forget to acknowledge your accomplishments and successes, even the little ones. We don’t pat ourselves on the back enough, and taking the time to acknowledge yourself will build your confidence and happiness.
I also encourage you to plan your day the night before. It will not only allow you to wake up with a game plan for your day, but having intentional actions in place will prevent reactive decision making. It’s a game changer!
Review your plan regularly
Take the time to review your goals on a regular basis and tweak your plan with the actions you are committed to taking.
When you are committed to creating big things, there’s a good chance you’ll have some failures and setbacks. Don’t get too discouraged because that’s where you’ll learn and grow the most. That’s why it’s so important to make time to review your day, week, month, and year.
“If you learn from defeat, you haven’t really lost.” -Zig Ziglar
Reviewing your goals will give you the chance to either recommit, adjust, or decide not to move forward on goals that are no longer in alignment with your vision.
Please be sure to enjoy the Journey
Although I’m excited about achieving my goals, I believe living a happy life takes enjoying all the stuff that happens along the way.
Of course, when you achieve your goals, you’ll be happy with the outcome but remember, your real achievement is the strength, wisdom, and confidence you’ve gained along the way.
When life gets busy, it can be easy to get caught up in all the little things that we have going on. That’s when we lose sight of our goals. Taking the time to get connected to your vision and creating a plan will be the foundation to keeping you moving toward your BIG goals.
And the more your vision tugs at your heartstrings, the more power it has to help you stay committed and on track when life throws you curve balls.
Nicole Comis, Certified Life & Executive Coach, helps business owners and other career-driven professionals achieve their BIG career goals while integrating more balance into their lives. She partners with her clients to gain clarity on what they want their future to look like, face their fears, identify obstacles holding them back, and create a plan to help them achieve BIG, stretchy goals that are outside of their comfort zone. Her coaching practice incorporates her client’s whole life, not just their career, leading to a more balanced, productive, healthy, and happy life. Nicole is a graduate and certified coach from the Accomplishment Coaching Coaches Training Program and is accredited by the International Coach Federation (ICF) as a Professional Certified Coach (PCC). Nicole’s high-energy, judgment-free, fun, no-BS approach helps men and women live a more balanced life with a career they love, fulfilling relationships, a healthy well-being, and killer confidence!
by Nicole Comis | Nov 18, 2019 | Gratitude
When was the last time you took the time to acknowledge, let alone celebrate everything you have?
So many of us lose sight of all the things we have and everything we accomplish because we’re so focused on the future and the next goal. It’s human to want more: more success, more accomplishments, more things, more validation, more, more, more.
Gratitude allows us to stop, be present, and appreciate the things we have. It shifts us from focusing on what’s missing, to enjoying what we have right now. It allows us to look at life through a positive lens, which not only creates more happiness but helps build stronger relationships, improves how we handle the challenges we face, and can even improve our health.
Did you know that scientists have discovered that feelings of gratitude can actually change your brain? Some studies have shown that feeling gratitude can activate areas of the brain that release dopamine and serotonin—the “feel-good” chemicals. I even found research that shows that people who have greater feelings of gratitude have increased activity in the hypothalamus, which impacts our hormones, digestion, and emotions.
So, what I’m saying is that taking the time to appreciate what you have not only can increase your happiness, but it might also make you healthier!
Look around you. There are lots of things to be grateful for. Let’s start with the things most of us take for granted: food, water, clothes, fresh air, and the roof over our heads. Then there are your own personal successes to acknowledge: small wins like you got up early and went to the gym or big achievements like you got that promotion. Celebrate all of them!
And while you are practicing gratitude, it’s just as important to practice acceptance and forgiveness—they go hand in hand. Learn to forgive and be grateful for the people and events in your life. Even the things that sucked and the people that hurt you contributed to your growth and who you are today.
Many years ago, I decided to stop living life with regrets and started being grateful for my past—even the really shitty stuff. I chose to believe that everything that has happened in my life has brought me to where I am and made me who I am. I chose to learn the lessons in my mistakes and failures. And I chose to believe that some things didn’t work out because they weren’t right for me. And as a result, I’m a lot happier.
Gratitude is a practice, and like with anything new you learn, the more you do it, the easier it will become. Here are some ways to practice gratitude in your life:
Keep a gratitude journal. Create a habit of writing down three things you’re grateful for each morning. If you want to take it to the next level, write out why you are grateful for each one of those things.
Acknowledge someone in your life. Take the time to acknowledge someone in your life for who they are and what they bring to your life. If you can’t do it in person, write them a letter or give them a call.
Reflect on your day. At the end of the day, reflect on your successes and accomplishments. Write down the things that went well, and for those that didn’t, look for opportunities to learn and grow.
Pray. If you have a spiritual practice, thank God for the things you have in your life.
Living life with a sense of gratitude has totally changed my life. It allows me to focus on all the good stuff I have and not on the things that are missing. That doesn’t mean I’m not going after creating bigger and better things, but I’m not letting the things I don’t have, control my happiness or my value.
Try it out for yourself and see the difference it can make in your mindset—and your happiness.
Nicole Comis, Certified Life & Executive Coach, helps business owners and other career-driven professionals achieve their BIG career goals while integrating more balance into their lives. She partners with her clients to gain clarity on what they want their future to look like, face their fears, identify obstacles holding them back, and create a plan to help them achieve BIG, stretchy goals that are outside of their comfort zone. Her coaching practice incorporates her client’s whole life, not just their career, leading to a more balanced, productive, healthy, and happy life. Nicole is a graduate and certified coach from the Accomplishment Coaching Coaches Training Program and is accredited by the International Coach Federation (ICF) as a Professional Certified Coach (PCC). Nicole’s high-energy, judgment-free, fun, no-BS approach helps men and women live a more balanced life with a career they love, fulfilling relationships, a healthy well-being, and killer confidence!
by Nicole Comis | Oct 29, 2019 | Mindset, Personal Growth
Public speaking. Networking. Applying for a new job. Asking for a promotion or raise. Starting a business. Sharing your feelings.
Do any of these freak you out a little? It’s totally normal if they do, they’re some of the most common fears. But if you take time to dig a little deeper, you’ll discover that these “fears” are just symptoms of your more significant fears. You know, the shit that paralyzes you from moving forward on your BIG goals and dreams: fear of rejection, failure, shame, judgment, abandonment…
These fears are powerful! They limit you and your vision by creating blinders to what is possible. They keep you small and prevent you from achieving the things you want in life.
We all have fear. Hell, we’re human. But when we acknowledge our fears and practice taking action in spite of them, these fears lose their power over us, and the inner critic inside our head begins to settle down.
Take the time to understand our fears and where they came from.
All of our fears, big or small, come from our limiting beliefs. These beliefs were developed during our childhood, typically before we were even 8 years old. Our parents, teachers, religion, culture, friends, peers, media, our circumstances…everything and everyone in our environment helped create our beliefs about ourselves, others, and the world. And as we grew older, we collected more and more evidence that these beliefs were the truth.
When you were young, think of how many times someone said, “don’t talk to strangers!” Although it kept you safe as a kid, it might have also created a belief that the world is dangerous, and we can’t trust people we don’t know. As adults, that message might have created a fear around networking or dating.
Believe it or not, I used to be terrified of public speaking. I’m talking the pit in your stomach, sweaty palms, feeling like I’m going to throw up kinda fear! It was so bad that when I was in the mortgage business, I talked my boss into doing all of my presentations for me. The thought of standing in front of the room with dozens of eyes looking at me brought me back to my childhood when the teacher would call on me, and I didn’t know the answer. That’s when I developed a limiting belief that I wasn’t very smart, ultimately leading to fears of rejection, judgment, and failure.
The thing is, I totally knew my shit and was one of the best in the business at the time. But our limiting beliefs have this crazy ability to mess with our heads.
My favorite definition of fear is, “an upsetting emotion caused by a real or imagined threat of danger or pain.” Did you catch that? Fear is caused by a real or imagined threat of danger or pain. So, although fear can protect us from real danger, it also can get in the way because of the stories we create in our minds!
In my workshops, I share a story about a farmer who spent his life terrified of a huge monster. He was so obsessed with building walls to protect himself and was so consumed by his fear that he ended up pushing away his family and friends. It wasn’t until his pain and sadness became worse than his fear that he finally decided to go face to face with the monster. And guess what? He discovered the monster was much smaller than he imagined him to be.
Shining a spotlight on your fears and limiting beliefs will allow you to take actions outside of your comfort zone…in spite of your fears.
Remember that public speaking fear I mentioned earlier? Once I created awareness of my fears and limiting beliefs and got clear on my commitments and BIG goals, I was able to take baby steps outside of my comfort zone in spite of my fear. I practiced stretching myself. I started attending more networking events so I could practice giving my elevator speech. I gave mini-presentations on my business to my leads group. I accepted positions where I was responsible for running meetings. I committed to getting up in front of a room of nearly 100 women to welcome them to the Women in Business Breakfast each month for an entire year! My confidence grew, and my fears and limiting beliefs were no longer holding me back. Now, I speak as part of my business!
I think of all the times my fears stopped me from achieving the things I wanted in my life. What are your fears preventing you from having in your life? A fulfilling career? A successful business? New clients? A loving, committed, and healthy relationship?
You get to decide if you’re going to let your fears stand in the way of you achieving your BIG goals and dreams. But if you shine a spotlight on your fears, limiting beliefs, behaviors, and survival mechanisms—the crap that’s been holding you back—you can discover the courage to go after all the things you want in life!
Nicole Comis, Certified Life & Executive Coach, helps business owners and other career-driven professionals achieve their BIG career goals while integrating more balance into their lives. She partners with her clients to gain clarity on what they want their future to look like, face their fears, identify obstacles holding them back, and create a plan to help them achieve BIG, stretchy goals that are outside of their comfort zone. Her coaching practice incorporates her client’s whole life, not just their career, leading to a more balanced, productive, healthy, and happy life. Nicole is a graduate and certified coach from the Accomplishment Coaching Coaches Training Program and is accredited by the International Coach Federation (ICF) as a Professional Certified Coach (PCC). Nicole’s high-energy, judgment-free, fun, no-BS approach helps men and women live a more balanced life with a career they love, fulfilling relationships, a healthy well-being, and killer confidence!
by Nicole Comis | Sep 3, 2019 | Health + Well-being, Self-care
Some of us think that self-care is something we need to do when we are unhealthy or depleted. I used to too. But I’ve learned it’s more about the things we do to prevent ourselves from becoming unhealthy or depleted.
Self-care is made up of the consistent and intentional actions we take to support our physical, mental, and emotional health and well-being. It’s the key component to living a balanced life.
In addition to improving your confidence, self-esteem, motivation, and happiness, practicing self-care allows you to fully show up for the significant people and things in your life!
You’ve probably heard the saying, “You cannot fill from an empty cup!” There’s a lot of truth in those words. When you are not your best self, you can’t show up as your best spouse, parent, leader, colleague, etc. But when you commit to a self-care routine–when you truly take care of yourself–you have more of yourself to give.
It’s kind of like a propane tank for your grill. What happens when the propane is low? Your burgers take longer to cook or worse; they don’t cook at all. That’s exactly what happens when you neglect to practice self-care regularly—your energy will get low, and you won’t have the strength to focus on the things that really matter—including your BIG goals.
To show up as your best and most healthy self takes doing a consistent routine of the things that supports your well-being! But self-care looks different for everyone. If you are forcing yourself to do an activity that makes you more stressed than recharged, PLEASE don’t do it. Some people love running, while others may prefer to walk or practice yoga. All are awesome self-care practices!
So, if self-care looks different to different people, how do you know what works for you?
Start by exploring these questions honestly:
What gives me energy? What drains me?
How much sleep do I need to feel rested?
What type of physical activity does my body crave? Which ones don’t feel good?
What kind of food provides me with energy? Which ones make me feel sluggish or crummy?
Understand that self-care is not…
- Trying to numb, avoid, or distract yourself from your feelings.
- Wearing a smile when you are feeling like shit inside.
- Pushing yourself to exhaustion or pain.
Practice incorporating self-care habits into your regular routine.
Self-care activities incorporate nutrition, exercise, personal hygiene, stress management, positive mindset practices, and healthy relationships. Take the time to discover what works for you. Listen to your body and pay attention to what makes you feel energized and healthy.
Here are some of my self-care practices to give you a little inspiration…
1. Make your health and well-being your #1 priority! Eat the food that gives your body the fuel and energy it needs to function at its best. That includes drinking enough water to stay hydrated and taking the vitamins and supplements your body needs. Commit to making your regular check-ups with your doctor and dentist a priority.
2. Create a list of the things that are not in alignment with your goals, or unhealthy habits you want to change. Examples: Not checking emails before or after a certain time, attending social events you don’t enjoy, not answering your phone when you’re spending time with friends or family.
3. Create a positive mindset practice. Create a gratitude practice. Recognize and celebrate your achievements. Acknowledging your failures and see them as an opportunity for you to learn and grow.
4. Get enough sleep. Adults usually need 7-8 hours of sleep each night. Practice going to bed at the same time each night and getting up at the same time every morning. While we’re talking about sleep…practice avoiding the snooze button. Studies show, hitting snooze makes you more tired!
5. Practice getting 20 minutes of activity every day (lifting weights, walking, yoga, cleaning the house…just move your body). Exercise is not only good for our physical health but also our emotional health. It also increases serotonin levels, which leads to a better mood and more energy. To be in alignment with self-care…do the type of exercise that you enjoy doing!
7. Spend quality time connecting with friends and family. Having fulfilling relationships is an important component of self-care. Be intentional about spending time with the people you value most in your life.
8. Incorporate more fun, laughter, and happiness into your life! Practice doing at least one thing that lights you up every day; from going out with friends to singing in the car…look for opportunities to laugh and have more fun!
9. Get clear and connected on your vision! Take the time to think about what you REALLY want your life to look and come up with a plan that will help achieve your BIG goals! If something is not in alignment with your vision, practice saying no and creating healthy boundaries with others.
10. Practice keeping your physical environment clean, organized, and clutter-free. It’s amazing how simply making your bed each morning will set the tone for your day.
Some of my other favorites include:
- Music and singing (extra self-care benefits if it’s going to see live music)
- Getting out in the sunshine and fresh air
- Taking a beach vacation in the middle of winter
- Smiling (sometimes it’s for no reason other than it makes me feel good to do it)
- And of course, one of my most powerful self-care practices is to work with a coach to help grow both personally and professionally
Self-care is the commitment to stay healthy and balanced as a regular practice. When you create a self-care practice that you enjoy and gives you energy, it will be easier for you to incorporate it into your regular routine. Soon see just how important self-care is to helping you achieve your BIG goals!
What will you do as part of your self-care practice?
Nicole Comis, Certified Life & Executive Coach, helps business owners and other career-driven professionals achieve their BIG career goals while integrating more balance into their lives. She partners with her clients to gain clarity on what they want their future to look like, face their fears, identify obstacles holding them back, and create a plan to help them achieve BIG, stretchy goals that are outside of their comfort zone. Her coaching practice incorporates her client’s whole life, not just their career, leading to a more balanced, productive, healthy, and happy life. Nicole is a graduate and certified coach from the Accomplishment Coaching Coaches Training Program and is accredited by the International Coach Federation (ICF) as a Professional Certified Coach (PCC). Nicole’s high-energy, judgment-free, fun, no-BS approach helps men and women live a more balanced life with a career they love, fulfilling relationships, a healthy well-being, and killer confidence!
