by Nicole Comis | July 31, 2024 | Beliefs, Mindset
Have you ever noticed how your thoughts shape your reality?
Our brains have their own operating system. And just like a computer, it's always running in the background.
Let's break it down:
Our beliefs create our thoughts.
Our thoughts create our feelings.
Our feelings dictate our actions.
Our actions become our results.
Did you know the average person's thoughts are 70-80% negative?
That's a lot of negative self-talk!
Imagine what results you'll get if most of your thoughts are focused on what's wrong or not good enough. Probably not the kind of results that align with your BIG goals and dreams, right?!?
If you want to change your results, you have to start with your beliefs.
Think of it this way: Your conscious mind is the goal-setter, the part of you that decides what you want. But it's your unconscious mind that's the goal-getter, the part that controls your beliefs and thoughts and drives your actions and habits, often without you even realizing it.
Aligning your unconscious beliefs with your conscious goals can create a powerful shift in your life. It's all about reprogramming your "operating system" to support the life you want to live.
So, if you're finding yourself stuck or not going after your BIG dreams, take some time to explore your beliefs. They might be the key to unlocking your full potential!
by Nicole Comis | December 4, 2023 | Relationships
In today's world, where technology is our primary source of communication,
it's essential to remember the role human connection plays in communication and the importance of being present and truly listening.
Listening isn't just about hearing the words someone is saying – it's really about the other person feeling seen, heard, and understood. It's about them walking away from the conversation feeling like they matter.
In today's world, where technology is our primary source of communication,
it's essential to remember the role human connection plays in communication and the importance of being present and truly listening.
Listening isn't just about hearing the words someone is saying – it's really about the other person feeling seen, heard, and understood. It's about them walking away from the conversation feeling like they matter.
Create Space for Sharing
Providing a safe space for the other person to share their thoughts and feelings is essential in communication. And when you create an environment of acceptance, you encourage authenticity and openness to share their thoughts and feelings.
Acknowledge Feelings and Emotions
Emotions can be uncomfortable for many people, so their fear of judgment may hold them back from expressing themselves fully.
So, if someone is being vulnerable, it's crucial to acknowledge their feelings and emotions. When you do, they feel seen, heard, and understood, and you create an opportunity to strengthen the relationship and build trust.
Ask Questions
When you ask questions, you show the other person you're genuinely interested in what they are saying and encourage them to share more -- use open-ended questions if you want to take the conversation to a deeper level.
Avoid Interrupting
Really allow the other person to say what they need to say without interrupting, even if it's to agree or share your thoughts on the topic.
We've all done it. You know, the "OMG, me too!" But when some get interrupted and can't finish their thought, they might unconsciously shut down or feel rejected.
Practice pausing and allowing the other person to express themselves fully. Embrace the power of the pause – it's a super effective technique that creates space for people to articulate their thoughts and feelings.
Avoid Giving Unsolicited Advice
Before you give advice, ask the person what they need. Ask if they want guidance, advice, a solution, or just need someone to listen.
The skill of listening is instrumental in building and maintaining strong relationships – personal and professional. So, the next time you find yourself in a conversation, challenge yourself to take on some of these tips to create a space for understanding and connection.
Nicole Comis, Certified Life & Executive Coach, helps business owners and other career-driven professionals achieve their BIG career goals while integrating more balance into their lives. She partners with her clients to gain clarity on what they want their future to look like, face their fears, identify obstacles holding them back, and create a plan to help them achieve BIG, stretchy goals that are outside of their comfort zone. Her coaching practice incorporates her client's whole life, not just their career, leading to a more balanced, productive, healthy, and happy life. Nicole is a graduate and certified coach from the Accomplishment Coaching Coaches Training Program and is accredited by the International Coach Federation (ICF) as a Professional Certified Coach (PCC). Nicole's high-energy, judgment-free, fun, no-BS approach helps men and women live a more balanced life with a career they love, fulfilling relationships, a healthy well-being, and killer confidence!
by Nicole Comis | January 18, 2022 | Goals
Have you ever wondered why it's so hard to stick to your New Year's resolutions?
You're not alone!
Most people have a hard time staying committed to their New Year's resolutions. Why? Because goals are the key to success, not resolutions. And successful goals are not possible without a plan to achieve them!
So here are some tips for achieving your New Year’s resolutions, starting with outlining your goals.
Create Goals in the Key Areas of Your Life
I encourage my clients to create goals for their career, health and well-being, relationships, personal growth, and anything else that they feel is important to them!
Every area of our life is integrated, so when you take care of yourself and are fulfilled in all areas of your life, it's much easier to achieve your BIG goals in life. Remember, you are your most important asset, so please make your well-being your number one priority.
Visualize Your Future
When you develop a vision for your future, you can create amazing results!
Imagine you are in the future, one year from now, and you have accomplished your goals. What is the end result you want to achieve? Be specific. What will you feel, see, hear, etc.? How will you know when you have accomplished your goal? What will achieving it allow you to do?
Be sure to write your vision for your future in the present tense and in positive terms.
Know Your "Why"
Our actions will determine whether or not we achieve our goals. How motivated we are will determine whether or not we take action.
Discovering your "why" behind your goals will be the fuel to your motivation. Take time to get clear on your reason for wanting to achieve this goal. Make it pull at your heartstrings – make it juicy!
Ask yourself...
- Why is this objective important to me?
- What will it give me?
- What am I really committed to?
- What will achieving this allow me to do?"
Set Yourself Up for Success
Create an awareness of what skills and resources will support you in achieving your goals.
Skills: What skills do you have? What do you want to learn? What do you want to delegate?
Resources: What resources do you have? Who do you know that can help you? What resources do you want to develop?
Create a Plan
Using your future vision, break down your goals into specific, clear, and intentional results. Answering, "What do I want to achieve and by when?"
To stay on track, it's important to determine clear milestones to help you reach your goal. Having a clear timeline and well-defined steps will allow you to evaluate your plan, manage your progress, and make corrections as needed.
Milestones: Milestones a month or less apart will be beneficial in making sure you stay on track to accomplishing your goal.
Action Plan: What actions will you commit to that will help you achieve your next milestone?
Practices and Habits: What activities and habits would support you in reaching your objective?
Incentives: Attach a small, medium, or large reward to each milestone. The bigger the milestone, the bigger the reward!
Support and Accountability
Share your goals with the people in your life that will encourage you and lift you up.
Implement a weekly appointment with yourself to check in to see where you are in relation to the goals you set for the week. Ask yourself, "What's working? What's not working? What needs to shift?"
Consider partnering with an accountability partner or hiring a coach to keep you on track with your commitments and goals.
Having a good accountability partner can help you make amazing progress toward your goals, helping you stay on track toward creating your vision. In addition, it gives you a chance to share about recent wins, talk through challenges and come up with new strategies.
You'll be amazed at how much you'll achieve when you shift your mindset from making New Year's resolutions to making yearly goals aligned with your vision!
by Nicole Comis | March 9, 2020 | Goals, Life Balance
Having a healthy life balance is crucial to our happiness and well-being. Yet, it's impossible to allocate our time evenly between all the important areas of our lives, especially when we are pursuing BIG career goals.
So, how do we create more balance?!?
It starts with how we view "life balance." If you look at life balance as to how you allocate your time, it's going to be pretty freaking hard to achieve it. But if you look at "life balance" as to how fulfilled you are in the important areas of your life, it's totally possible!
So, how can you achieve BIG, stretchy career goals AND have a kickass personal life? Here are some tips to help you:
Create Goals that Create Life Balance
Write down your goals for your personal and professional life with a plan for how you're going to achieve them. Create goals for your career, relationships, health and wellbeing, personal growth, finances, and whatever else is important to you.
Don't freak out...you don't have to incorporate big stretchy goals with a ginormous plan for every area of your life.
For some, it can be as simple as writing down the actions you're committed to taking, so you don't lose sight or focus on that area of your life. For example, your romantic relationship goal could be as simple as planning a monthly date night and an annual weekend getaway with your partner. A financial goal could be committing to balancing your checkbook every month or putting a certain amount into savings each month.
The intention is to keep you present to your "whole" life while you're going after your BIG career goals. You know...to create life balance!
Evaluate Your To-do List
Most of us have obligations on our calendar and to-do list that's not in alignment with our vision and goals. Take time to think about what you can say 'no' that isn't important, fun, or that you don't enjoy.
It's okay to delegate the things that take a lot of your time or energy, or the stuff you don't enjoy doing... in fact, it's smart!
A few years ago, I had a client that was spending a ton of time doing admin work that she was resistant to paying someone else to do. It wasn't until I pointed out how much money she was losing by not using that time seeing clients that she realized the importance of delegating.
Where's your time and energy best spent? Honestly evaluate what skills you want to learn and which makes more sense to have someone else do for you. There are tons of experts out there to help you in the areas you aren't skilled at or don't enjoy doing.
Be intentional with your time
It can be easy to get distracted when you don't have a plan in place, which is why I'm a big fan of planning your day the night before. It'll allow you to wake up with a game plan for your day, which will also prevent reactive decision-making.
Review your calendar for what you have scheduled for the day, and then decide what other actions you'll commit to accomplishing. But be realistic. If you have a full day of appointments, don't commit to a bunch of other time-consuming tasks.
Celebrate your Achievements
When was the last time you took the time to acknowledge, let alone celebrate your accomplishments? So many of us overlook the things we accomplish because we're so focused on the future and the next goal. Taking the time to acknowledge your achievements from small successes like you got up early and went to the gym, to big achievements like enrolling a new client, will help build your confidence and happiness, and will add fuel to your motivation!
Do yourself a favor and take the time to acknowledge your accomplishments and successes...even the little ones deserve to be celebrated.
Gratitude
While you go after those BIG, stretchy goals and strive for creating "more" in your life, take time to be grateful for what you already have. Having a regular practice where you acknowledge and celebrate the good you have in your life will help to increase your happiness.
Health and wellbeing
Our health and wellbeing affects the quality of our lives and the quality of our work. You cannot show up as your best self if you're not taking care of yourself so, please make your wellbeing your number one priority. Like the flight attendants say on an airplane: "put your oxygen mask on first"!
We are much happier, more productive, and a heck of a lot more fun to be around when we take care of ourselves.
Unplug from Work
I know it can be easier said than done but practice disconnecting from work so you can focus on your personal needs. Commit to a time when you will stop working each night and take time off on the weekends to enjoy your life.
Take this time to focus on self-care...read a book, connect with your significant other, chat with a friend, hang with your kiddos, or whatever will support you in recharging.
Relationships
We are happier and more fulfilled when we have love and connection in our lives. So, make time for the important relationships in your life. I'm talking quality time and connection, not just sitting in front of the TV. Take the time to really connect with your family and friends. Plan a date with your significant other, go for a walk with a friend, play a game with your kiddos.
Positive Community
"You need to associate with people that inspire you, people that challenge you to rise higher, people that make you better. Don't waste your valuable time with people that are not adding to your growth. Your destiny is too important." Joel Osteen
Surround yourself with positive, supportive, happy people whenever you can and limit the time you spend with energy suckers. You know who I'm talking about - the complainers, people with negative attitudes...anyone who depletes your energy. You may not be able to avoid them all the time, but do what you can to reduce the time you spend with them or "tune them out" as much as possible.
Fun and laughter
I'm intentional about incorporating fun and laughter into everything I do. What can you do to make each area of your life more fun and enjoyable?
Build friendships with the people you regularly see at the gym. Have a monthly happy hour with your co-workers. Listen to fun music while you work. Find ways to incorporate fun and laughter into everything you do!
We are more than just our careers, so when you focus all your energy on your career goals, you rob yourself of happiness. Plus, when we aren't fulfilled in our personal life, it takes more energy to achieve our career goals.
AND you deserve to enjoy your life WHILE creating a kickass career. After all, why are you working so hard, anyway? Isn't it so you can enjoy living?!?
by Nicole Comis | February 11, 2020 | Goals
To help me get clear on my vision and goals for the year, I do a fun exercise where I write myself a letter from the end of the year. I describe the future vision of my life as if I'm talking to a close friend. I dig in deep, starting with how I feel when I wake up in the morning. I talk about what my life looks like, how I feel, and what I've achieved along the way. When I want to focus on my long-term goals, I will do the same exercise but looking ahead 3-5 years.
I make my vision so juicy that it pulls at my heartstrings and becomes the “fuel” to my motivation.
Once I'm clear on the vision, I create a plan for how I'm going to achieve it. Taking time to do this not only prepares me to stay focused on my BIG, stretchy goals but helps me stay on track throughout the year.
You can't hit a target that you can't see, so…
Connect with your future vision
Journal what you want your life to look like over the next 12 months. Living a happy and healthy life is all about finding YOUR balance, so be sure to include your vision for your career, relationships, health and well-being, spirituality, and any other area of life that is important to you.
Describe each area of your life the best you can. What does it look like? How does it make you feel? What have you achieved along the way? If you get stuck, look at someone you admire for inspiration.
Don’t forget to include the reasons why you want to achieve these goals in each area of your life. Your “why” is what connects your heart to your goals and will keep you committed to them, especially when things get tough. If you're not clear on your “why,” it's harder to stay motivated when "life happens," which it always does!
Create a powerful plan.
Someone said to me the other day, "what if I like to fly by the seat of my pants?"
Here's the truth: When it comes to your goals, flying by the seat of your pants is like throwing noodles against the wall and hoping they'll stick. You need a kickass plan to help you achieve your BIG goals.
Achieving your BIG goals will require you to do things differently than you have in the past, step outside of your comfort zone, and practice new behaviors and habits…ALL of which should be included in your plan.
"Our goals can only be reached through a vehicle of a plan in which we must fervently believe, and upon which we must vigorously act. There is no other route to success." -Pablo Picasso
Make your well-being your #1 priority
I may sound like a broken record when it comes to this, but your well-being is the foundation of everything you do or don't do. A healthy body, mind, and spirit is an essential part to achieving your BIG goals.
Take some time to think about the things that give you energy and make your heart smile, and incorporate them into your plan!
Create powerful morning and evening routines
I found countless articles stating that successful people contribute their success to creating a routine that supports their goals. Most of them include getting up early, exercising, being grateful, planning their day, and reflecting.
Something as simple as making your bed in the morning will set the tone for the rest of your day.
Create a nightly habit where you review your day. Reflect on your challenges so you can learn those valuable lessons and find areas to improve. Don’t forget to acknowledge your accomplishments and successes, even the little ones. We don't pat ourselves on the back enough, and taking the time to acknowledge yourself will build your confidence and happiness.
I also encourage you to plan your day the night before. It will not only allow you to wake up with a game plan for your day, but having intentional actions in place will prevent reactive decision making. It’s a game changer!
Review your plan regularly
Take the time to review your goals on a regular basis and tweak your plan with the actions you are committed to taking.
When you are committed to creating big things, there's a good chance you'll have some failures and setbacks. Don't get too discouraged because that’s where you'll learn and grow the most. That's why it's so important to make time to review your day, week, month, and year.
"If you learn from defeat, you haven't really lost." -Zig Ziglar
Reviewing your goals will give you the chance to either recommit, adjust, or decide not to move forward on goals that are no longer in alignment with your vision.
Please be sure to enjoy the Journey
Although I'm excited about achieving my goals, I believe living a happy life takes enjoying all the stuff that happens along the way.
Of course, when you achieve your goals, you'll be happy with the outcome but remember, your real achievement is the strength, wisdom, and confidence you've gained along the way.
When life gets busy, it can be easy to get caught up in all the little things that we have going on. That's when we lose sight of our goals. Taking the time to get connected to your vision and creating a plan will be the foundation to keeping you moving toward your BIG goals.
And the more your vision tugs at your heartstrings, the more power it has to help you stay committed and on track when life throws you curve balls.
Nicole Comis, Certified Life & Executive Coach, helps business owners and other career-driven professionals achieve their BIG career goals while integrating more balance into their lives. She partners with her clients to gain clarity on what they want their future to look like, face their fears, identify obstacles holding them back, and create a plan to help them achieve BIG, stretchy goals that are outside of their comfort zone. Her coaching practice incorporates her client's whole life, not just their career, leading to a more balanced, productive, healthy, and happy life. Nicole is a graduate and certified coach from the Accomplishment Coaching Coaches Training Program and is accredited by the International Coach Federation (ICF) as a Professional Certified Coach (PCC). Nicole's high-energy, judgment-free, fun, no-BS approach helps men and women live a more balanced life with a career they love, fulfilling relationships, a healthy well-being, and killer confidence!
by Nicole Comis | November 18, 2019 | Gratitude
When was the last time you took the time to acknowledge, let alone celebrate everything you have?
So many of us lose sight of all the things we have and everything we accomplish because we're so focused on the future and the next goal. It's human to want more: more success, more accomplishments, more things, more validation, more, more, more.
Gratitude allows us to stop, be present, and appreciate the things we have. It shifts us from focusing on what's missing, to enjoying what we have right now. It allows us to look at life through a positive lens, which not only creates more happiness but helps build stronger relationships, improves how we handle the challenges we face, and can even improve our health.
Did you know that scientists have discovered that feelings of gratitude can actually change your brain? Some studies have shown that feeling gratitude can activate areas of the brain that release dopamine and serotonin—the "feel-good" chemicals. I even found research that shows that people who have greater feelings of gratitude have increased activity in the hypothalamus, which impacts our hormones, digestion, and emotions.
So, what I'm saying is that taking the time to appreciate what you have not only can increase your happiness, but it might also make you healthier!
Look around you. There are lots of things to be grateful for. Let's start with the things most of us take for granted: food, water, clothes, fresh air, and the roof over our heads. Then there are your own personal successes to acknowledge: small wins like you got up early and went to the gym or big achievements like you got that promotion. Celebrate all of them!
And while you are practicing gratitude, it's just as important to practice acceptance and forgiveness—they go hand in hand. Learn to forgive and be grateful for the people and events in your life. Even the things that sucked and the people that hurt you contributed to your growth and who you are today.
Many years ago, I decided to stop living life with regrets and started being grateful for my past—even the really shitty stuff. I chose to believe that everything that has happened in my life has brought me to where I am and made me who I am. I chose to learn the lessons in my mistakes and failures. And I chose to believe that some things didn't work out because they weren't right for me. And as a result, I'm a lot happier.
Gratitude is a practice, and like with anything new you learn, the more you do it, the easier it will become. Here are some ways to practice gratitude in your life:
Keep a gratitude journal. Create a habit of writing down three things you're grateful for each morning. If you want to take it to the next level, write out why you are grateful for each one of those things.
Acknowledge someone in your life. Take the time to acknowledge someone in your life for who they are and what they bring to your life. If you can't do it in person, write them a letter or give them a call.
Reflect on your day. At the end of the day, reflect on your successes and accomplishments. Write down the things that went well, and for those that didn't, look for opportunities to learn and grow.
Pray. If you have a spiritual practice, thank God for the things you have in your life.
Living life with a sense of gratitude has totally changed my life. It allows me to focus on all the good stuff I have and not on the things that are missing. That doesn't mean I'm not going after creating bigger and better things, but I'm not letting the things I don't have, control my happiness or my value.
Try it out for yourself and see the difference it can make in your mindset—and your happiness.
Nicole Comis, Certified Life & Executive Coach, helps business owners and other career-driven professionals achieve their BIG career goals while integrating more balance into their lives. She partners with her clients to gain clarity on what they want their future to look like, face their fears, identify obstacles holding them back, and create a plan to help them achieve BIG, stretchy goals that are outside of their comfort zone. Her coaching practice incorporates her client's whole life, not just their career, leading to a more balanced, productive, healthy, and happy life. Nicole is a graduate and certified coach from the Accomplishment Coaching Coaches Training Program and is accredited by the International Coach Federation (ICF) as a Professional Certified Coach (PCC). Nicole's high-energy, judgment-free, fun, no-BS approach helps men and women live a more balanced life with a career they love, fulfilling relationships, a healthy well-being, and killer confidence!
