by Nicole Comis | Jan 3, 2025 | Mindset
Have you ever been stuck in a car wash?
Well, it just happened to me!
On my way home from a meeting, I decided to pop in for a quick car wash. Everything was going great until midway through, when I literally started bouncing off the huge truck in front of me! It took me a couple of seconds to realize what was happening–I wasn’t sure why, but he had put on his brakes.
I’ll be honest, at that moment, I wasn’t quite sure what to do.
I decided to put my foot on the brake, pull out my phone, and record a video to post on my personal Facebook with the caption, “What would you do if you got stuck in a car wash?”
Then, I waited until I got rescued. And I laughed because…well, I WAS STUCK in a freakin’ car wash!
I figured they’d get us out eventually—so why stress?
The truth is, getting upset wouldn’t have solved anything.
I’m very intentional about practicing not stressing over things I can’t control–I know it’s not worth wasting my energy.
It is a choice I’ve practiced for many years, and while I’m not always perfect at it, that day…I nailed it!
Turns out that two cars ahead of me was a woman in her 80s who panicked when her car started acting funny, and she left her car–while still on the tracks. Can you imagine how terrified and embarrassed she must have felt?
Thank God I didn’t lose it!
It would have made things worse for me, the car wash employees, and the poor lady who panicked and left her car.
And you know what?
That choice paid off. Not only did I save my peace from being frustrated (or feeling like an ass when I found out about the poor lady), but the manager upgraded my self-service wash to full service, so I got the inside of my car cleaned for free! Woohoo!!!
Sure, I ended up with a tiny booboo on my bumper from playing bumper cars with the truck in front of me, but it wasn’t big enough to stress over. I just asked the manager what she would do to take care of it, and she gave me a free detail to buff and polish my car and make the whole car look pretty! That’s a huge win in my book!
This whole experience reminded me of a simple yet powerful lesson…
We always have a choice in how we respond to our challenges.
Stress, frustration, and anger might feel justified in the moment, but they never fix the problem. In fact, they usually make things worse.
By staying calm, I kept my peace, made someone’s day a little easier, and ended up with a clean car and a funny story to tell.
Oh, and the responses to my video are hilarious! I thought I’d share a couple with you…
- A mom of six said she’d “Take a nap.”
- “I was about to go get mine washed, but this changed my mind.”
- “Play the ‘Car Wash’ song and dance!”
But my favorite responses were the hilarious stories of other people getting stuck in car washes, too!
So, I’ll leave you with this: the next time you find yourself in a frustrating situation you can’t control—whether it’s bumper-to-bumper traffic, getting stuck in a car wash, or something bigger—ask yourself: “Is ‘this’ really worth stealing my energy?” Or can you take a deep breath, choose a new perspective, and maybe even laugh instead?
Who knows? You might end up with a great story to tell and maybe even a little “bonus” for your patience.
by Nicole Comis | Aug 14, 2024 | Mindset
We all have unconscious programming, created from our past, that influences how we see the world, other people, and ourselves.
Sometimes, the hardest lessons come from those we love the most. That’s what’s what happened to me. A couple of months ago, my brother said something that really hurt my feelings.
I cried, and I bitched to my parents about what a jerk he was. For days, I was totally in my shit, acting like a complete victim!
Until my mom opened my eyes when she said, “You have always had your brother on a pedestal. And you’ve been fighting for his approval since you were a little, little girl.”
That’s when I realized it wasn’t what my brother said that was the issue.
It was my unconscious programming that twisted his words into, “He thinks I’m an idiot!”
The conversation had triggered deep childhood wounds – wounds that I wasn’t even aware were there.
At that moment, I stopped being upset with my brother. I realized I had some work to do on my unconscious beliefs, especially regarding our relationship in childhood.
This experience was a powerful reminder of the importance of personal development and the impact our unconscious programming has on our lives.
Personal development isn’t just about learning new skills or setting goals. It’s about digging deep and uncovering the unconscious programming that shapes our lives.
In my case, I realized that my comments weren’t the problem—my interpretation of them was.
Personal development is an ongoing journey. It requires a willingness to look within and challenge the beliefs that no longer serve us.
And sometimes, it takes a moment of vulnerability and a bit of insight from others to spark that growth.
So, next time you find yourself triggered or upset…take a step back and ask yourself, “What belief is driving this reaction?”
You might just discover a path to greater self-awareness and personal freedom.
by Nicole Comis | Jul 31, 2024 | Beliefs, Mindset
Have you ever noticed how your thoughts shape your reality?
Our brains have their own operating system. And just like a computer, it’s always running in the background.
Let’s break it down:
Our beliefs create our thoughts.
Our thoughts create our feelings.
Our feelings dictate our actions.
Our actions become our results.
Did you know the average person’s thoughts are 70-80% negative?
That’s a lot of negative self-talk!
Imagine what results you’ll get if most of your thoughts are focused on what’s wrong or not good enough. Probably not the kind of results that align with your BIG goals and dreams, right?!?
If you want to change your results, you have to start with your beliefs.
Think of it this way: Your conscious mind is the goal-setter, the part of you that decides what you want. But it’s your unconscious mind that’s the goal-getter, the part that controls your beliefs and thoughts and drives your actions and habits, often without you even realizing it.
Aligning your unconscious beliefs with your conscious goals can create a powerful shift in your life. It’s all about reprogramming your “operating system” to support the life you want to live.
So, if you’re finding yourself stuck or not going after your BIG dreams, take some time to explore your beliefs. They might be the key to unlocking your full potential!
by Nicole Comis | Dec 4, 2023 | Relationships
In today’s world, where technology is our primary source of communication,
it’s essential to remember the role human connection plays in communication and the importance of being present and truly listening.
Listening isn’t just about hearing the words someone is saying – it’s really about the other person feeling seen, heard, and understood. It’s about them walking away from the conversation feeling like they matter.
In today’s world, where technology is our primary source of communication,
it’s essential to remember the role human connection plays in communication and the importance of being present and truly listening.
Listening isn’t just about hearing the words someone is saying – it’s really about the other person feeling seen, heard, and understood. It’s about them walking away from the conversation feeling like they matter.
Create Space for Sharing
Providing a safe space for the other person to share their thoughts and feelings is essential in communication. And when you create an environment of acceptance, you encourage authenticity and openness to share their thoughts and feelings.
Acknowledge Feelings and Emotions
Emotions can be uncomfortable for many people, so their fear of judgment may hold them back from expressing themselves fully.
So, if someone is being vulnerable, it’s crucial to acknowledge their feelings and emotions. When you do, they feel seen, heard, and understood, and you create an opportunity to strengthen the relationship and build trust.
Ask Questions
When you ask questions, you show the other person you’re genuinely interested in what they are saying and encourage them to share more — use open-ended questions if you want to take the conversation to a deeper level.
Avoid Interrupting
Really allow the other person to say what they need to say without interrupting, even if it’s to agree or share your thoughts on the topic.
We’ve all done it. You know, the “OMG, me too!” But when some get interrupted and can’t finish their thought, they might unconsciously shut down or feel rejected.
Practice pausing and allowing the other person to express themselves fully. Embrace the power of the pause – it’s a super effective technique that creates space for people to articulate their thoughts and feelings.
Avoid Giving Unsolicited Advice
Before you give advice, ask the person what they need. Ask if they want guidance, advice, a solution, or just need someone to listen.
The skill of listening is instrumental in building and maintaining strong relationships – personal and professional. So, the next time you find yourself in a conversation, challenge yourself to take on some of these tips to create a space for understanding and connection.
Nicole Comis, Certified Life & Executive Coach, helps business owners and other career-driven professionals achieve their BIG career goals while integrating more balance into their lives. She partners with her clients to gain clarity on what they want their future to look like, face their fears, identify obstacles holding them back, and create a plan to help them achieve BIG, stretchy goals that are outside of their comfort zone. Her coaching practice incorporates her client’s whole life, not just their career, leading to a more balanced, productive, healthy, and happy life. Nicole is a graduate and certified coach from the Accomplishment Coaching Coaches Training Program and is accredited by the International Coach Federation (ICF) as a Professional Certified Coach (PCC). Nicole’s high-energy, judgment-free, fun, no-BS approach helps men and women live a more balanced life with a career they love, fulfilling relationships, a healthy well-being, and killer confidence!
by Nicole Comis | Jan 18, 2022 | Goals
Have you ever wondered why it’s so hard to stick to your New Year’s resolutions?
You’re not alone!
Most people have a hard time staying committed to their New Year’s resolutions. Why? Because goals are the key to success, not resolutions. And successful goals are not possible without a plan to achieve them!
So here are some tips for achieving your New Year’s resolutions, starting with outlining your goals.
Create Goals in the Key Areas of Your Life
I encourage my clients to create goals for their career, health and well-being, relationships, personal growth, and anything else that they feel is important to them!
Every area of our life is integrated, so when you take care of yourself and are fulfilled in all areas of your life, it’s much easier to achieve your BIG goals in life. Remember, you are your most important asset, so please make your well-being your number one priority.
Visualize Your Future
When you develop a vision for your future, you can create amazing results!
Imagine you are in the future, one year from now, and you have accomplished your goals. What is the end result you want to achieve? Be specific. What will you feel, see, hear, etc.? How will you know when you have accomplished your goal? What will achieving it allow you to do?
Be sure to write your vision for your future in the present tense and in positive terms.
Know Your “Why”
Our actions will determine whether or not we achieve our goals. How motivated we are will determine whether or not we take action.
Discovering your “why” behind your goals will be the fuel to your motivation. Take time to get clear on your reason for wanting to achieve this goal. Make it pull at your heartstrings – make it juicy!
Ask yourself…
- Why is this objective important to me?
- What will it give me?
- What am I really committed to?
- What will achieving this allow me to do?”
Set Yourself Up for Success
Create an awareness of what skills and resources will support you in achieving your goals.
Skills: What skills do you have? What do you want to learn? What do you want to delegate?
Resources: What resources do you have? Who do you know that can help you? What resources do you want to develop?
Create a Plan
Using your future vision, break down your goals into specific, clear, and intentional results. Answering, “What do I want to achieve and by when?”
To stay on track, it’s important to determine clear milestones to help you reach your goal. Having a clear timeline and well-defined steps will allow you to evaluate your plan, manage your progress, and make corrections as needed.
Milestones: Milestones a month or less apart will be beneficial in making sure you stay on track to accomplishing your goal.
Action Plan: What actions will you commit to that will help you achieve your next milestone?
Practices and Habits: What activities and habits would support you in reaching your objective?
Incentives: Attach a small, medium, or large reward to each milestone. The bigger the milestone, the bigger the reward!
Support and Accountability
Share your goals with the people in your life that will encourage you and lift you up.
Implement a weekly appointment with yourself to check in to see where you are in relation to the goals you set for the week. Ask yourself, “What’s working? What’s not working? What needs to shift?”
Consider partnering with an accountability partner or hiring a coach to keep you on track with your commitments and goals.
Having a good accountability partner can help you make amazing progress toward your goals, helping you stay on track toward creating your vision. In addition, it gives you a chance to share about recent wins, talk through challenges and come up with new strategies.
You’ll be amazed at how much you’ll achieve when you shift your mindset from making New Year’s resolutions to making yearly goals aligned with your vision!
