Mindset Archives - Nicole Comis Coaching

Having Faith When Life Doesn’t Go as Planned

by Nicole Comis | Jan 18, 2026 | Beliefs, Mindset, Personal Growth

Until the last few years, my faith wasn’t something I talked about much, even with my closest friends.

It was deeply personal. Private. Something that developed over time, especially during challenging seasons when I was learning to trust God in ways I hadn’t before.

I was born and raised Catholic, and church was a big part of my life growing up. But as I moved into adulthood, I began to feel less aligned with the church’s views and grew more disconnected from religion itself.

For years, I felt like I was searching for a sense of belonging in my faith. A place where my values felt supported. Where everyone was welcome. Where faith was rooted in love, not fear or judgment.

If you’ve ever felt caught between what you were taught to believe and what your heart knows to be true, you’re not alone.

A Shift That Changed Everything

During my coach training program, my faith unexpectedly began to grow stronger than it ever had before.

Each month, we were encouraged to read books that expanded how we thought about different areas of life. During our spirituality month, one of the books was Conversations with God.

I read it in a day and a half. It addressed so many of the challenges I had struggled with around religion, and I couldn’t put it down.

For the first time, I was introduced to the idea that God isn’t separate from us—He is a part of us.

More than anything, it shifted how I saw my life. I began to understand that life isn’t happening to me, but for me and that every experience holds an opportunity for growth, learning, and expansion.

I realized that when I was trying to force an outcome or control how something unfolded, it meant it wasn’t meant for me.

My mind was blown.

Instead of living my life from a place of fear, I began practicing surrender. Trust. Believing that God was guiding me, even when I couldn’t see the full picture.

Letting Go of Labels

I stopped trying to define my faith with a label.

I no longer felt the need to decide whether I was Catholic, Christian, or anything else. What mattered most was trusting that God was guiding and supporting me, and believing He truly had my back.

That faith became my foundation.

Over time, it continued to deepen. Today, while I connect with Christianity, more than anything, my faith is in God. I trust that I’m supported. I believe that even when things feel uncertain, they are unfolding exactly as they are meant to.

Trust Over Certainty

Today, faith is one of the most important foundations in my life.

Not faith in the sense of rules or fitting into a specific box, but a strong belief that God is guiding me.

Trusting that life is happening for me, even when I can’t see how or why.

That belief has carried me through some of the hardest seasons of my life, especially those times when things didn’t make sense. Moments when I worked hard and still watched things fall apart or unfold in ways I never wanted.

In those moments, my faith isn’t about certainty.

It’s about trust.

Trust that God is working in my favor, even when I don’t understand what’s happening or where it’s leading.

When Faith Was Put to the Test

There’s one season in particular that comes to mind when I think about having faith—not just when life doesn’t go as planned, but when it completely falls apart.

Almost two years ago, my business hit a breaking point.

For different reasons, all of my clients completed their contracts within a short period of time. Some were clients I had worked with for over six years. Suddenly, the business I had spent years building looked very different than it had just a month earlier.

I had only been in Georgia for a few years and didn’t yet have the deep relationships and business connections I had built over nearly three decades in Naperville. I didn’t have the same referral base, support system, or sense of community I was used to leaning on. And being so far away made it harder to maintain those relationships in the same way.

If I’m being honest, that season shook me. I came close to giving up.

And at the same time, I always knew in my heart that this is the work I’m meant to do in the world.

At my weakest point, I believe God showed up for me through my mom.

When I talked about getting a salaried job, she told me I couldn’t give up on my dreams.

That painful season asked me to practice what I believe.

To trust that God was guiding me, even when the plan didn’t make sense to me. To surrender control when every part of me wanted answers.

To believe that what was falling away was creating space for something better.

Looking back now, I can see that season didn’t break me.

It refined me and my business.

Finding Peace in a Noisy World

Another place my faith supports me is how I navigate what’s happening in the world—politically, socially, and globally.

There are so many things I don’t agree with. Things I don’t understand. Things that genuinely hurt my heart.

But I trust that God is working in ways I can’t always see. That there’s a bigger plan unfolding, even when the world feels heavy, divided, or devastating.

My faith doesn’t mean I’m ignoring reality or pretending everything is fine.

It keeps me from living in constant fear or anger. It allows me to stay compassionate without being consumed by it. It helps me move through uncertainty without letting it run my life.

In a world that often feels loud and overwhelming, that faith has been a lifeline for my wellbeing.

It gives me peace.

Living From a Different Mindset

Because of that trust, I live differently now.

That mindset shift has been life-changing.

When things don’t go as planned, I no longer ask, “Why is this happening to me?”

I ask, “What am I meant to learn?”

This is also how I coach my clients—shifting the question from why something is happening to what it might be teaching them.

I trust that God is guiding me where I need to be, even when I don’t understand it yet. And sometimes, when I’m not paying attention, that guidance shows up as a pretty clear kick in the butt.

Listening When Something Is Out of Alignment

Looking back, I believe that’s exactly what happened a couple of years ago with my business. I was trained in the deeper subconscious work, but I hadn’t fully integrated it into my coaching practice because I was worried what people might think.

I wasn’t showing up in my power or aligned with what I know creates real transformation because of fear.

I realized, when I’m not living in alignment with my beliefs or values, something will shift…and it might not be pretty.

Faith as an Anchor

My faith keeps me grounded in the unknown. It helps me stay hopeful when things feel heavy. It allows me to keep moving forward during seasons that could easily make me give up.

There have been challenges, plenty of them. But over the last dozen years, my faith has been my strength.

Even when I can’t see the path clearly, I trust that everything is unfolding for the best.

And if you’re in a season where life feels challenging right now, this is your reminder that trust doesn’t require certainty—it’s rooted in faith.

If this resonated, take a moment to reflect on where you might be holding on too tightly right now, and what it could look like to trust instead.

And as always, if you need support, please reach out. I’m here.

Who Do You Want to Be in the World?

by Nicole Comis | Jan 13, 2026 | Mindset, Personal Growth

What Betty White Reflects About Living a Meaningful Life

Do you have a role model?

Maybe not someone you want to be exactly, or whose career or life you want to replicate, but someone who reflects how you want to show up in the world. How you want to be experienced by others, and how you want to live your life.

For me, that person is Betty White.

Not because I want to be an actress or famous.

Not because she lived a full, healthy, vibrant life until almost 100 years old.

And it’s not because she made a lot of money (although… that wouldn’t hurt).

It’s because of who she was as a human.

What It Means to Love Life

What stands out to me most is how she lived — how she showed up in the world.

Everything about her made it clear that she was genuinely in love with life and people.

She was playful and laughed easily. She didn’t take herself or life too seriously, but she was serious about the important things.

People who knew her often said the same things.

She made people feel seen.
She was witty and funny, but never mean. She laughed with people, never at them.
She treated everyone with the same warmth, kindness and respect, no matter who they were.

She experienced pain and disappointment like every other human and still chose optimism, humor, and gratitude. She didn’t let life harden her. And she didn’t let success or money change her heart.

If anything, it seemed to strengthen it.

There are very few people who make my heart smile the moment I see their face, but Betty White is one of them. When I see a picture of her or stumble on an old clip, I instantly smile. She was magnetic.

And it makes me reflect, not on what I want to have in my life, but on how I want to live it.

Who You Choose to Be

Because at the end of the day, that’s what really matters.

Not the titles.
Not the bank account.
Not the résumé.

But how we loved.
How we treated people.
How fully we lived.

She was a class act.
Classy.

I imagine, when Betty reflected on her life, she was thinking, “That was one hell of a ride!” And that’s what I want for myself, and for the people I care about…and for you.

Not just to make it through life.
But to truly enjoy it.

To laugh.
To love people unconditionally.
To lead with kindness and optimism instead of fear.
To be serious about the things that matter and let the rest be lighter.

Think about it…
Who do you want to be in the world?

What would it look like if you were in love with life?

The Hard Truth Every Woman in Business Needs to Hear

by Nicole Comis | Dec 4, 2025 | Confidence, Goals, Mindset, Personal Growth

So many ambitious women burn out without realizing it — here’s why it happens and what you can do to take your power back.

As women — especially ambitious women building businesses — there’s something almost all of us struggle with… and many don’t even realize it until we burn out.

We’re amazing at giving, serving, showing up, and getting things done. But we’re not always great at making ourselves a priority.

A couple of conversations over the last few weeks reminded me just how common this is — and how much it impacts the women I coach, the women in my community, and honestly… the woman I used to be.

The Hidden Struggle So Many Women in Business Face

Almost every ambitious woman I know has struggled with:

setting boundaries
saying no
prioritizing themselves
letting their business run their life

We jump the second a client needs something — even when it costs us the time we intentionally set aside for our health, our relationships, or simply enjoying life.

We become the last thing on our own priority list… when we actually need to be the very first.

You’ve probably heard it before…
“You can’t fill from an empty cup.”
Well… it’s true.

Why This Happens (and No One Talks About It)

Most ambitious women were raised to believe that success comes from sacrificing themselves — putting others first, staying available, being reliable, being strong.

That conditioning runs deep.

And it’s what leads us to over-work, over-give, and ignore the warning signs our body is sending us.

The “Giver” Personality (and Why It Can Be Dangerous)

I was talking with a client recently who gives, and gives, and gives — and hardly receives. She pours into everyone and everything around her.

Eventually, the well runs dry.

And for many women, this happens slowly… until they can’t ignore it anymore.

Unfortunately, this isn’t rare.
It’s normal.

Back in my mortgage days, my work took priority over my entire life.

My business always came first. Always.

I once had a client call me in the middle of the night — she woke me out of a sound sleep, and I freaking answered.

I was constantly worried about the next paycheck, and I let that dictate everything about how I lived, how I worked, and even how I felt.

Fast-forward…
I burned out my adrenals.
(But that’s a story for another time.)

The Truth No One Talks About Enough

When our businesses (or anything outside of us) start running our lives, we give up our power.
We lose control of the life we actually want to be living.

The truth is, you deserve to prioritize taking care of yourself.

Not someday.
Not when “things slow down.”
Not when you hit a career milestone.
Not after everyone else’s needs are met.

Right now.

Your health and well-being are the foundation of everything you do… and everything you don’t do.

And if you’ve been putting yourself last, please know:

You’re not failing.
There is nothing wrong with you.
You’re human.

It’s just time for something to shift…

The good news is… you have the power to change, if you choose.

Let me ask you something:

Where in your life are you giving more than you’re receiving?

Even noticing your answer is a powerful first step.

If This Hit Home for You…

If something in this post made you pause or think, “that’s me,” you deserve to put yourself on the priority list.

And if you’re ready for things to be different — and want support as you create a more aligned, balanced life — I’m here.

You don’t have to figure this out alone.

I’d love to help you create a life and business that supports you and the future you want to create.

Click here to schedule a free 20-minute connection call!

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I Thought I Had to Be the Happy One to Be Liked — What That Belief Cost Me

by Nicole Comis | Aug 11, 2025 | Beliefs, Relationships

I Believed Vulnerability Wasn’t Safe—and What Changed Everything

There was a time in my life when I believed vulnerability wasn’t just weakness—it was weakness on steroids.

At a young age, I decided that Happy Nicole was the only version of me that would be liked and accepted.

So I made sure to be bubbly.
Outgoing.
Friendly.
A total social butterfly.

And I thought that’s who I had to be—all the time.

The real parts?
The messy parts?
The times when I was sad or scared?
I hid those parts because I didn’t think anyone wanted to see that version of me.

Here’s the thing: when we carry beliefs like “the real me won’t be liked,” we unconsciously create situations that prove us right.

That’s exactly what happened to me…

About 15 years ago, I was in a really bad place in my life.

On the outside, I was always smiling, but inside, I was barely holding it together.

And one night, out with friends, I over-served myself—something I did often back then.
I ended up outside the bar with a friend and started crying.

Her response?
“I don’t know what to do with this Nicole!”

That moment confirmed my belief:
It’s not safe to show my feelings.
People can’t handle the real me.

And I shut it down.
I shut me down.

I buried my pain.

For years, I hid behind a smile.
I wore the mask of the strong, happy one.
The one who takes care of everyone else.
The one who doesn’t need anyone.

I was the strong one. The one who had it all together.

But the truth is—I was hiding.

No wonder I never truly felt safe in my relationships.
No wonder I felt like a fraud deep down.

Because no one really knew me.
How could they? I didn’t let them.

Beliefs Shape Your Reality

One of the biggest things I’ve learned through coaching and personal development is this:
Our beliefs are powerful.

They shape how we show up—and what we allow ourselves to receive.
They create experiences that prove us right.

“It’s not safe to be vulnerable.”
“The real me won’t be accepted.”

That night outside the bar?
I could’ve been with a different friend.
Someone who would’ve hugged me.
Held space for me.
Told me I wasn’t alone.

But I didn’t attract that—because I didn’t believe it was possible.

That’s how powerful our unconscious beliefs are.

Beliefs Can Be Changed

The good news? We have the power to change our beliefs.
And when we do—that’s when everything changes.

This is the work I do with my clients every day—helping them shift the beliefs running their lives and start showing up as their powerful selves.

Because when you change your limiting beliefs, you change the way you show up.
And when you change the way you show up, your whole life starts to feel different.

Ask yourself this:
What might change if you finally gave yourself permission to be vulnerable and real?

If this resonated with you, it’s time to explore what beliefs are shaping your life.
You don’t have to figure it out alone.

Book a free coaching session and let’s talk about what’s possible when you take the mask off.

The Scarcity Trap: Why You’re Hustling So Hard and Still Feel Like It’s Not Enough

by Nicole Comis | Aug 5, 2025 | Beliefs, Mindset

Scarcity mindset isn’t just about money—it’s the hidden reason behind burnout, overthinking, and never feeling like you can slow down.

I was talking with a client the other day about having a scarcity mindset.
She asked me what it meant—and I felt the best way to describe it was to share a story about my mortgage days.

I was making great money—$200,000 a year—and yet I was still stuck in fear, constantly worried about where my next paycheck would come from.

I worked nights and weekends with a developer and felt guilty taking a day off during the week.

I felt like I had to be attached to my phone and laptop 24/7.
I was terrified that if a client or real estate agent called and I didn’t answer, they’d go somewhere else.
I was constantly on edge, feeling like I was fighting for survival.

On the outside, it probably looked like I was just driven—hustling to grow my business.
But on the inside, I was running on fear.
And eventually, it caught up with me.

That level of stress?
It took a toll.
It led to burnout and, eventually, adrenal fatigue.

The worst part?
I thought that level of stress was just normal.

This fear-based way of living? That’s scarcity mindset.
And most of us don’t even realize we’re living in it.

So, what is scarcity mindset?

Scarcity mindset is the belief that there’s not enough—money, time, energy, opportunities, love, success…
It’s a mindset that focuses on lack and limitation.
And many times, it’s running unconsciously in the background.

When you’re operating from a scarcity mindset, you might feel like:

You have to fight for what you want because there’s not enough to go around
If someone else succeeds, there won’t be enough for you
You can’t slow down or take a break because you might fall behind or miss out
You always need to be doing more to feel safe or secure

It can show up as:

People-pleasing
Answering work calls and texts after hours, on weekends, or even on vacation
Not taking time off—or working during your time off
Checking emails at all hours of the night
Struggling to set (or keep) healthy boundaries

And here’s the kicker…
It usually starts early in life.

We’re taught to compete.
That there’s only one winner.
Only one person can be the best.
If you don’t win, you lose.

We’re taught to hold tight to what we have—because it might be taken away.

So even when life looks good, we can still feel anxious.
Still live in fear.
Still afraid the rug might get pulled out from under us.

So let me ask you this:

Where are you making your decisions from?

Is it from scarcity—that voice that says:

“I have to do this because it’s what people expect.”
“I can’t do what I really want, or I won’t get clients.”
“I need to play it safe, fit in, and follow what other people want.”

Or are your decisions coming from alignment—from your vision and your values?

I’ve been guilty of it, too.
Holding back from doing what I really wanted to do—because deep down, I was afraid.
Afraid of what people would think.
Afraid I wouldn’t be enough.

Even building a business based on what I thought people wanted.

That’s scarcity talking.

I believe the opposite of scarcity… is faith.

Faith that you’re enough.
Faith that you’ll have enough.
Faith that you’re supported.
Faith that what’s meant for you will find its way.

And wow.
That changes everything.

Stuck in a Car Wash—How My Daily Practices Rescued Me

by Nicole Comis | Jan 3, 2025 | Mindset

Have you ever been stuck in a car wash?

Well, it just happened to me!

On my way home from a meeting, I decided to pop in for a quick car wash. Everything was going great until midway through, when I literally started bouncing off the huge truck in front of me! It took me a couple of seconds to realize what was happening–I wasn’t sure why, but he had put on his brakes.

I’ll be honest, at that moment, I wasn’t quite sure what to do.

I decided to put my foot on the brake, pull out my phone, and record a video to post on my personal Facebook with the caption, “What would you do if you got stuck in a car wash?”

Then, I waited until I got rescued. And I laughed because…well, I WAS STUCK in a freakin’ car wash!

I figured they’d get us out eventually—so why stress?

The truth is, getting upset wouldn’t have solved anything.

I’m very intentional about practicing not stressing over things I can’t control–I know it’s not worth wasting my energy.

It is a choice I’ve practiced for many years, and while I’m not always perfect at it, that day…I nailed it!

Turns out that two cars ahead of me was a woman in her 80s who panicked when her car started acting funny, and she left her car–while still on the tracks. Can you imagine how terrified and embarrassed she must have felt?

Thank God I didn’t lose it!

It would have made things worse for me, the car wash employees, and the poor lady who panicked and left her car.

And you know what?

That choice paid off. Not only did I save my peace from being frustrated (or feeling like an ass when I found out about the poor lady), but the manager upgraded my self-service wash to full service, so I got the inside of my car cleaned for free! Woohoo!!!

Sure, I ended up with a tiny booboo on my bumper from playing bumper cars with the truck in front of me, but it wasn’t big enough to stress over. I just asked the manager what she would do to take care of it, and she gave me a free detail to buff and polish my car and make the whole car look pretty! That’s a huge win in my book!

This whole experience reminded me of a simple yet powerful lesson…

We always have a choice in how we respond to our challenges.

Stress, frustration, and anger might feel justified in the moment, but they never fix the problem. In fact, they usually make things worse.

By staying calm, I kept my peace, made someone’s day a little easier, and ended up with a clean car and a funny story to tell.

Oh, and the responses to my video are hilarious! I thought I’d share a couple with you…

A mom of six said she’d “Take a nap.”
“I was about to go get mine washed, but this changed my mind.”
“Play the ‘Car Wash’ song and dance!”

But my favorite responses were the hilarious stories of other people getting stuck in car washes, too!

So, I’ll leave you with this: the next time you find yourself in a frustrating situation you can’t control—whether it’s bumper-to-bumper traffic, getting stuck in a car wash, or something bigger—ask yourself: “Is ‘this’ really worth stealing my energy?” Or can you take a deep breath, choose a new perspective, and maybe even laugh instead?

Who knows? You might end up with a great story to tell and maybe even a little “bonus” for your patience.

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