by Nicole Comis | Dec 4, 2025 | Confidence, Goals, Mindset, Personal Growth
So many ambitious women burn out without realizing it — here’s why it happens and what you can do to take your power back.
As women — especially ambitious women building businesses — there’s something almost all of us struggle with… and many don’t even realize it until we burn out.
We’re amazing at giving, serving, showing up, and getting things done. But we’re not always great at making ourselves a priority.
A couple of conversations over the last few weeks reminded me just how common this is — and how much it impacts the women I coach, the women in my community, and honestly… the woman I used to be.
The Hidden Struggle So Many Women in Business Face
Almost every ambitious woman I know has struggled with:
- setting boundaries
- saying no
- prioritizing themselves
- letting their business run their life
We jump the second a client needs something — even when it costs us the time we intentionally set aside for our health, our relationships, or simply enjoying life.
We become the last thing on our own priority list… when we actually need to be the very first.
You’ve probably heard it before…
“You can’t fill from an empty cup.”
Well… it’s true.
Why This Happens (and No One Talks About It)
Most ambitious women were raised to believe that success comes from sacrificing themselves — putting others first, staying available, being reliable, being strong.
That conditioning runs deep.
And it’s what leads us to over-work, over-give, and ignore the warning signs our body is sending us.
The “Giver” Personality (and Why It Can Be Dangerous)
I was talking with a client recently who gives, and gives, and gives — and hardly receives. She pours into everyone and everything around her.
Eventually, the well runs dry.
And for many women, this happens slowly… until they can’t ignore it anymore.
Unfortunately, this isn’t rare.
It’s normal.
Back in my mortgage days, my work took priority over my entire life.
My business always came first. Always.
I once had a client call me in the middle of the night — she woke me out of a sound sleep, and I freaking answered.
I was constantly worried about the next paycheck, and I let that dictate everything about how I lived, how I worked, and even how I felt.
Fast-forward…
I burned out my adrenals.
(But that’s a story for another time.)
The Truth No One Talks About Enough
When our businesses (or anything outside of us) start running our lives, we give up our power.
We lose control of the life we actually want to be living.
The truth is, you deserve to prioritize taking care of yourself.
Not someday.
Not when “things slow down.”
Not when you hit a career milestone.
Not after everyone else’s needs are met.
Right now.
Your health and well-being are the foundation of everything you do… and everything you don’t do.
And if you’ve been putting yourself last, please know:
You’re not failing.
There is nothing wrong with you.
You’re human.
It’s just time for something to shift…
The good news is… you have the power to change, if you choose.
Let me ask you something:
Where in your life are you giving more than you’re receiving?
Even noticing your answer is a powerful first step.
If This Hit Home for You…
If something in this post made you pause or think, “that’s me,” you deserve to put yourself on the priority list.
And if you’re ready for things to be different — and want support as you create a more aligned, balanced life — I’m here.
You don’t have to figure this out alone.
I’d love to help you create a life and business that supports you and the future you want to create.
Click here to schedule a free 20-minute connection call!
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by Nicole Comis | Mar 4, 2025 | Goals, Values, Vision
Can you imagine going on a road trip without a destination in mind? Deciding at each light which direction to go—should you turn left or right? You’d likely go in circles or get lost.
Yet, that’s exactly how so many people live their lives—on autopilot, making decisions based on what’s right in front of them without a clear vision for the future.
Years later, they look around and wonder, “How did I end up here?”—so far from their BIG goals and dreams, feeling stuck in a place they never intentionally chose.
The truth is, life doesn’t just happen to you. Every choice either moves you closer to the life you want or further away from it. But without a clear vision, how can you possibly know which direction to take?
Your Vision and Values Are Your Roadmap
Being clear on your vision and values is like setting out on a road trip with a destination in mind and a GPS guiding your way. With a clear path, every turn becomes intentional. Even if you hit a detour, you’ll know how to reroute and stay on track.
- Your vision—what you want for your career, relationships, health, and personal growth—acts as your destination.
- Your values—what matters most to you—serve as your internal compass.
Together, they guide your decisions and ensure that each choice aligns with what truly fulfills you.
Without this clarity, it’s easy to make decisions based on habit, convenience, or pressure rather than intention. That’s when years pass, and you wake up realizing you’ve built a life that doesn’t actually feel like yours.
Living With Intention
When you take the time to get clear on your vision and values, decision-making becomes easier. Instead of reacting to circumstances or making random choices, you start asking:
Does this align with my vision and values?
Will this decision bring me closer to the life I want to live?
It’s a powerful shift!
No more settling for “good enough” when you’re meant for more.
No more waking up years later wondering how you got so off track.
It means living with intention and making choices that align with what truly matters to you.
It’s Time to Take the Wheel
If life has felt like an aimless road trip, now is the time to change. You get to decide where you’re headed.
You get to create a life that excites you—one that aligns with your deepest values and biggest dreams.
So… where do you want to go?
by Nicole Comis | Jan 18, 2022 | Goals
Have you ever wondered why it’s so hard to stick to your New Year’s resolutions?
You’re not alone!
Most people have a hard time staying committed to their New Year’s resolutions. Why? Because goals are the key to success, not resolutions. And successful goals are not possible without a plan to achieve them!
So here are some tips for achieving your New Year’s resolutions, starting with outlining your goals.
Create Goals in the Key Areas of Your Life
I encourage my clients to create goals for their career, health and well-being, relationships, personal growth, and anything else that they feel is important to them!
Every area of our life is integrated, so when you take care of yourself and are fulfilled in all areas of your life, it’s much easier to achieve your BIG goals in life. Remember, you are your most important asset, so please make your well-being your number one priority.
Visualize Your Future
When you develop a vision for your future, you can create amazing results!
Imagine you are in the future, one year from now, and you have accomplished your goals. What is the end result you want to achieve? Be specific. What will you feel, see, hear, etc.? How will you know when you have accomplished your goal? What will achieving it allow you to do?
Be sure to write your vision for your future in the present tense and in positive terms.
Know Your “Why”
Our actions will determine whether or not we achieve our goals. How motivated we are will determine whether or not we take action.
Discovering your “why” behind your goals will be the fuel to your motivation. Take time to get clear on your reason for wanting to achieve this goal. Make it pull at your heartstrings – make it juicy!
Ask yourself…
- Why is this objective important to me?
- What will it give me?
- What am I really committed to?
- What will achieving this allow me to do?”
Set Yourself Up for Success
Create an awareness of what skills and resources will support you in achieving your goals.
Skills: What skills do you have? What do you want to learn? What do you want to delegate?
Resources: What resources do you have? Who do you know that can help you? What resources do you want to develop?
Create a Plan
Using your future vision, break down your goals into specific, clear, and intentional results. Answering, “What do I want to achieve and by when?”
To stay on track, it’s important to determine clear milestones to help you reach your goal. Having a clear timeline and well-defined steps will allow you to evaluate your plan, manage your progress, and make corrections as needed.
Milestones: Milestones a month or less apart will be beneficial in making sure you stay on track to accomplishing your goal.
Action Plan: What actions will you commit to that will help you achieve your next milestone?
Practices and Habits: What activities and habits would support you in reaching your objective?
Incentives: Attach a small, medium, or large reward to each milestone. The bigger the milestone, the bigger the reward!
Support and Accountability
Share your goals with the people in your life that will encourage you and lift you up.
Implement a weekly appointment with yourself to check in to see where you are in relation to the goals you set for the week. Ask yourself, “What’s working? What’s not working? What needs to shift?”
Consider partnering with an accountability partner or hiring a coach to keep you on track with your commitments and goals.
Having a good accountability partner can help you make amazing progress toward your goals, helping you stay on track toward creating your vision. In addition, it gives you a chance to share about recent wins, talk through challenges and come up with new strategies.
You’ll be amazed at how much you’ll achieve when you shift your mindset from making New Year’s resolutions to making yearly goals aligned with your vision!
by Nicole Comis | Mar 9, 2020 | Goals, Life Balance
Having a healthy life balance is crucial to our happiness and well-being. Yet, it’s impossible to allocate our time evenly between all the important areas of our lives, especially when we are pursuing BIG career goals.
So, how do we create more balance?!?
It starts with how we view “life balance.” If you look at life balance as to how you allocate your time, it’s going to be pretty freaking hard to achieve it. But if you look at “life balance” as to how fulfilled you are in the important areas of your life, it’s totally possible!
So, how can you achieve BIG, stretchy career goals AND have a kickass personal life? Here are some tips to help you:
Create Goals that Create Life Balance
Write down your goals for your personal and professional life with a plan for how you’re going to achieve them. Create goals for your career, relationships, health and wellbeing, personal growth, finances, and whatever else is important to you.
Don’t freak out…you don’t have to incorporate big stretchy goals with a ginormous plan for every area of your life.
For some, it can be as simple as writing down the actions you’re committed to taking, so you don’t lose sight or focus on that area of your life. For example, your romantic relationship goal could be as simple as planning a monthly date night and an annual weekend getaway with your partner. A financial goal could be committing to balancing your checkbook every month or putting a certain amount into savings each month.
The intention is to keep you present to your “whole” life while you’re going after your BIG career goals. You know…to create life balance!
Evaluate Your To-do List
Most of us have obligations on our calendar and to-do list that’s not in alignment with our vision and goals. Take time to think about what you can say ‘no’ that isn’t important, fun, or that you don’t enjoy.
It’s okay to delegate the things that take a lot of your time or energy, or the stuff you don’t enjoy doing… in fact, it’s smart!
A few years ago, I had a client that was spending a ton of time doing admin work that she was resistant to paying someone else to do. It wasn’t until I pointed out how much money she was losing by not using that time seeing clients that she realized the importance of delegating.
Where’s your time and energy best spent? Honestly evaluate what skills you want to learn and which makes more sense to have someone else do for you. There are tons of experts out there to help you in the areas you aren’t skilled at or don’t enjoy doing.
Be intentional with your time
It can be easy to get distracted when you don’t have a plan in place, which is why I’m a big fan of planning your day the night before. It’ll allow you to wake up with a game plan for your day, which will also prevent reactive decision-making.
Review your calendar for what you have scheduled for the day, and then decide what other actions you’ll commit to accomplishing. But be realistic. If you have a full day of appointments, don’t commit to a bunch of other time-consuming tasks.
Celebrate your Achievements
When was the last time you took the time to acknowledge, let alone celebrate your accomplishments? So many of us overlook the things we accomplish because we’re so focused on the future and the next goal. Taking the time to acknowledge your achievements from small successes like you got up early and went to the gym, to big achievements like enrolling a new client, will help build your confidence and happiness, and will add fuel to your motivation!
Do yourself a favor and take the time to acknowledge your accomplishments and successes…even the little ones deserve to be celebrated.
Gratitude
While you go after those BIG, stretchy goals and strive for creating “more” in your life, take time to be grateful for what you already have. Having a regular practice where you acknowledge and celebrate the good you have in your life will help to increase your happiness.
Health and wellbeing
Our health and wellbeing affects the quality of our lives and the quality of our work. You cannot show up as your best self if you’re not taking care of yourself so, please make your wellbeing your number one priority. Like the flight attendants say on an airplane: “put your oxygen mask on first”!
We are much happier, more productive, and a heck of a lot more fun to be around when we take care of ourselves.
Unplug from Work
I know it can be easier said than done but practice disconnecting from work so you can focus on your personal needs. Commit to a time when you will stop working each night and take time off on the weekends to enjoy your life.
Take this time to focus on self-care…read a book, connect with your significant other, chat with a friend, hang with your kiddos, or whatever will support you in recharging.
Relationships
We are happier and more fulfilled when we have love and connection in our lives. So, make time for the important relationships in your life. I’m talking quality time and connection, not just sitting in front of the TV. Take the time to really connect with your family and friends. Plan a date with your significant other, go for a walk with a friend, play a game with your kiddos.
Positive Community
“You need to associate with people that inspire you, people that challenge you to rise higher, people that make you better. Don’t waste your valuable time with people that are not adding to your growth. Your destiny is too important.” Joel Osteen
Surround yourself with positive, supportive, happy people whenever you can and limit the time you spend with energy suckers. You know who I’m talking about – the complainers, people with negative attitudes…anyone who depletes your energy. You may not be able to avoid them all the time, but do what you can to reduce the time you spend with them or “tune them out” as much as possible.
Fun and laughter
I’m intentional about incorporating fun and laughter into everything I do. What can you do to make each area of your life more fun and enjoyable?
Build friendships with the people you regularly see at the gym. Have a monthly happy hour with your co-workers. Listen to fun music while you work. Find ways to incorporate fun and laughter into everything you do!
We are more than just our careers, so when you focus all your energy on your career goals, you rob yourself of happiness. Plus, when we aren’t fulfilled in our personal life, it takes more energy to achieve our career goals.
AND you deserve to enjoy your life WHILE creating a kickass career. After all, why are you working so hard, anyway? Isn’t it so you can enjoy living?!?
by Nicole Comis | Feb 11, 2020 | Goals
To help me get clear on my vision and goals for the year, I do a fun exercise where I write myself a letter from the end of the year. I describe the future vision of my life as if I’m talking to a close friend. I dig in deep, starting with how I feel when I wake up in the morning. I talk about what my life looks like, how I feel, and what I’ve achieved along the way. When I want to focus on my long-term goals, I will do the same exercise but looking ahead 3-5 years.
I make my vision so juicy that it pulls at my heartstrings and becomes the “fuel” to my motivation.
Once I’m clear on the vision, I create a plan for how I’m going to achieve it. Taking time to do this not only prepares me to stay focused on my BIG, stretchy goals but helps me stay on track throughout the year.
You can’t hit a target that you can’t see, so…
Connect with your future vision
Journal what you want your life to look like over the next 12 months. Living a happy and healthy life is all about finding YOUR balance, so be sure to include your vision for your career, relationships, health and well-being, spirituality, and any other area of life that is important to you.
Describe each area of your life the best you can. What does it look like? How does it make you feel? What have you achieved along the way? If you get stuck, look at someone you admire for inspiration.
Don’t forget to include the reasons why you want to achieve these goals in each area of your life. Your “why” is what connects your heart to your goals and will keep you committed to them, especially when things get tough. If you’re not clear on your “why,” it’s harder to stay motivated when “life happens,” which it always does!
Create a powerful plan.
Someone said to me the other day, “what if I like to fly by the seat of my pants?”
Here’s the truth: When it comes to your goals, flying by the seat of your pants is like throwing noodles against the wall and hoping they’ll stick. You need a kickass plan to help you achieve your BIG goals.
Achieving your BIG goals will require you to do things differently than you have in the past, step outside of your comfort zone, and practice new behaviors and habits…ALL of which should be included in your plan.
“Our goals can only be reached through a vehicle of a plan in which we must fervently believe, and upon which we must vigorously act. There is no other route to success.” -Pablo Picasso
Make your well-being your #1 priority
I may sound like a broken record when it comes to this, but your well-being is the foundation of everything you do or don’t do. A healthy body, mind, and spirit is an essential part to achieving your BIG goals.
Take some time to think about the things that give you energy and make your heart smile, and incorporate them into your plan!
Create powerful morning and evening routines
I found countless articles stating that successful people contribute their success to creating a routine that supports their goals. Most of them include getting up early, exercising, being grateful, planning their day, and reflecting.
Something as simple as making your bed in the morning will set the tone for the rest of your day.
Create a nightly habit where you review your day. Reflect on your challenges so you can learn those valuable lessons and find areas to improve. Don’t forget to acknowledge your accomplishments and successes, even the little ones. We don’t pat ourselves on the back enough, and taking the time to acknowledge yourself will build your confidence and happiness.
I also encourage you to plan your day the night before. It will not only allow you to wake up with a game plan for your day, but having intentional actions in place will prevent reactive decision making. It’s a game changer!
Review your plan regularly
Take the time to review your goals on a regular basis and tweak your plan with the actions you are committed to taking.
When you are committed to creating big things, there’s a good chance you’ll have some failures and setbacks. Don’t get too discouraged because that’s where you’ll learn and grow the most. That’s why it’s so important to make time to review your day, week, month, and year.
“If you learn from defeat, you haven’t really lost.” -Zig Ziglar
Reviewing your goals will give you the chance to either recommit, adjust, or decide not to move forward on goals that are no longer in alignment with your vision.
Please be sure to enjoy the Journey
Although I’m excited about achieving my goals, I believe living a happy life takes enjoying all the stuff that happens along the way.
Of course, when you achieve your goals, you’ll be happy with the outcome but remember, your real achievement is the strength, wisdom, and confidence you’ve gained along the way.
When life gets busy, it can be easy to get caught up in all the little things that we have going on. That’s when we lose sight of our goals. Taking the time to get connected to your vision and creating a plan will be the foundation to keeping you moving toward your BIG goals.
And the more your vision tugs at your heartstrings, the more power it has to help you stay committed and on track when life throws you curve balls.
Nicole Comis, Certified Life & Executive Coach, helps business owners and other career-driven professionals achieve their BIG career goals while integrating more balance into their lives. She partners with her clients to gain clarity on what they want their future to look like, face their fears, identify obstacles holding them back, and create a plan to help them achieve BIG, stretchy goals that are outside of their comfort zone. Her coaching practice incorporates her client’s whole life, not just their career, leading to a more balanced, productive, healthy, and happy life. Nicole is a graduate and certified coach from the Accomplishment Coaching Coaches Training Program and is accredited by the International Coach Federation (ICF) as a Professional Certified Coach (PCC). Nicole’s high-energy, judgment-free, fun, no-BS approach helps men and women live a more balanced life with a career they love, fulfilling relationships, a healthy well-being, and killer confidence!
by Nicole Comis | Apr 20, 2019 | Goals
Being super connected to my vision is my compass. It pulls at my heartstrings and keeps me on track. When I’m connected and committed to my vision I’ll risk judgment, rejection, and failure. Being connected to my vision allows me to shift my mindset and look at failure as a way to grow and learn instead of keeping me down. It gives me the courage to keep taking swings even after I miss!
Getting connected to my vision allowed me to quit smoking COLD TURKEY after 22 years of being a smoker!
Being connected to my vision allows me to make commitments outside of my comfort zone in service of achieving my vision. It’s what helps me take actions that I normally wouldn’t have taken. It allows me to say no to the things that aren’t serving me and yes to the things that will. Getting connected to my vision gets me up every morning and gets me to the gym…EVEN after those nights when I didn’t get a good night’s sleep!!!
Discover the Gap
Discover the gap between where you are and where you want to be in all of the areas of your life. Take an honest look at your career, relationships, home environment, finances, health and wellbeing, self-love, personal development and whatever else is important to you, and decide how fulfilled you are in each area.
Shine a Spotlight on your Shit!
Shine a Spotlight on what’s holding you back. Get intimate with your fears, limiting beliefs and survival mechanisms!
Create the Foundation
Our well-being in the foundation of everything we do (or don’t do) and the foundation of our well-being is how we treat ourselves. You can’t show up as your best self if you are angry, annoyed, in pain, lack sleep, etc.
Create and Connect with Your Vision
Take the time to connect with the vision you would have for your life if your fears, limiting beliefs and survival mechanism weren’t holding you back. What do you really want your life to look like? What does it look like in one year? What does it look like in five years?
Understand your why. Ask yourself “why it’s is important to me?” Make it juicy. Getting super connected with your vision will help you stay on track when you get frustrated or temptations are in front of you!
Create a Powerful Plan
1. Break your vision down into objectives.
Objectives are Goals blown up. It will stay consistent no matter what the result looks like. It includes your why…the shit that pulls at your heartstrings.
Here’s an example…
Goal: To lose 20 lbs (okay)
Objective: To live my most happy, healthy and fulfilling life full of strength, flexibility and energy.
2. Create monthly milestones.
Mini, clear and specific goals to help you get to the BIG Goal. I believe baby steps are the key to success!
3. Celebrate your achievements. Attach awards for each small, medium and large milestone.
4. Actions Steps
What actions are you going to take to help you achieve your goal?
What new behaviors will you practice?
5. Get Connected to the Skills Needed to Achieve your Vision
What skills do you have?
What skills do you want to learn?
What skills do you want to delegate?
5. Get Connected to the Resources Needed to Achieve your Vision
Who do you know that can help you? Be specific.
What are your other resources other than people? (software, Google, newsletter software)
Practice, Practice, Practice
It’s totally possible to have it all…a career you love, fulfilling relationships, a healthy wellbeing, killer confidence and whatever else is important to you. Life is too short…do more of what makes you happy. Do those things that make your heart smile!!!
Nicole Comis, Certified Life & Executive Coach, helps business owners and other career-driven professionals achieve their BIG career goals while integrating more balance into their lives. She partners with her clients to gain clarity on what they want their future to look like, face their fears, identify obstacles holding them back, and create a plan to help them achieve BIG, stretchy goals that are outside of their comfort zone. Her coaching practice incorporates her client’s whole life, not just their career, leading to a more balanced, productive, healthy, and happy life. Nicole is a graduate and certified coach from the Accomplishment Coaching Coaches Training Program and is accredited by the International Coach Federation (ICF) as a Professional Certified Coach (PCC). Nicole’s high-energy, judgment-free, fun, no-BS approach helps men and women live a more balanced life with a career they love, fulfilling relationships, a healthy well-being, and killer confidence!
