by Nicole Comis | Aug 5, 2019 | Happiness
If you ask people what they want most in life, many will say, “I just want to be happy!” Although people are quick to say they want happiness, very few spend time thinking about what that means to them or how to make it happen.
We often make the mistake of thinking that our happiness is based on external circumstances such as making money, achieving career success, or finding the perfect relationship. We chase after these “things,” thinking that they are the answer to finding happiness.
But what happens if those “things” are taken away?!?
I felt on top of the world when I was successful in my mortgage career. I had a beautiful home. I was making a shit-ton of money, winning incentive trips, and the go-to girl in the office to answer questions on first-time buyer programs. Then the housing market crash happened, and all that happiness went away overnight.
The problem was that all of my happiness was based on my circumstances.
So, how do we create authentic happiness? Happiness that can’t be taken away from you?
Here are some things I practice that has helped me create authentic happiness in my life:
Discover what happiness looks like in your life
Spend time getting clear on what happiness looks like to you. Create a list of the things that bring fun and joy into your life. This will allow you to stay present to the things that make you happy, and when you find you need a little pick me up, you can choose something from the list. The items on the list don’t have to be time-consuming–they could be as simple as walking outside to feel the sun on your face, or listening to music while getting ready in the morning. This exercise is an excellent reminder that happiness is always available.
Practice gratitude
Gratitude is a way to focus your energy on appreciating what you have instead of searching for something or someone else to make you happy. It moves you from being focused on what’s missing and wanting more in order to be satisfied, to being focused on the present and appreciating what you have now. And while you are practicing gratitude, I encourage you to practice forgiveness—the two go hand in hand. Learning to forgive and be grateful for the people in your life (even if they hurt you and are no longer in your life) contributes to your growth and happiness.
Celebrate your achievements
When was the last time you took the time to acknowledge, let alone celebrate, your accomplishments? So many of us lose sight of all the things we accomplish in a day, week, year because we’re so focused on the future and the next goal. Taking the time to acknowledge your achievements from small successes like you got up early and went to the gym, to big achievements like you got that promotion, will give you a sense of accomplishment and will increase your overall feeling of fulfillment.
Focus on your wellbeing
I probably sound like a broken record when it comes to the importance of making your wellbeing a priority; but it is the foundation of everything we do, including creating happiness. It’s so important to pay attention to how you are treating your mind, body, and spirit. Practice physical and emotional energy-boosting habits into your life, such as getting enough sleep and exercise, to making healthy food choices, and staying hydrated. Be sure to incorporate those things that make your heart smile, such as singing, dancing, art—whatever it is that adds a little fun into your day.
Create healthy and fulfilling relationships
I believe in order to create authentic happiness we need relationships that make us feel supported, valued, and loved. Authentic and fulfilling relationships can only be created when we let our real selves be seen which takes us being open and vulnerable— a willingness to have difficult conversations, telling people how we feel, giving and receiving support, and sharing what’s happening in our lives. If you haven’t checked out Brene Brown’s Ted Talk on the Power of Vulnerability, I highly recommend you make time to do so…it was a game-changer in my life!
It’s essential to make time for the meaningful relationships in our lives, creating experiences and memories instead of spending our time and money on material things.
Manage your physical environment
Becoming clutter-free will help you become more stress-free. When you eliminate your physical clutter, you also benefit emotionally and mentally. Being organized in your physical environment helps reduce stress. Start small with things like making your bed each morning. Adopt a “clean as you go” mentality—something I learned as a teen while working at McDonald’s. Staying on top of the little things will leave you with less big, time-consuming projects.
Happiness does not eliminate our challenges and problems. But, it helps us have a positive impact on our own lives and the lives of those around us.
What makes you happy?
Nicole Comis, Certified Life & Executive Coach, helps business owners and other career-driven professionals achieve their BIG career goals while integrating more balance into their lives. She partners with her clients to gain clarity on what they want their future to look like, face their fears, identify obstacles holding them back, and create a plan to help them achieve BIG, stretchy goals that are outside of their comfort zone. Her coaching practice incorporates her client’s whole life, not just their career, leading to a more balanced, productive, healthy, and happy life. Nicole is a graduate and certified coach from the Accomplishment Coaching Coaches Training Program and is accredited by the International Coach Federation (ICF) as a Professional Certified Coach (PCC). Nicole’s high-energy, judgment-free, fun, no-BS approach helps men and women live a more balanced life with a career they love, fulfilling relationships, a healthy well-being, and killer confidence!
by Nicole Comis | Jul 10, 2019 | Personal Growth
“You will never change your life until you change something you do daily. The secret of your success is found in your daily routine.” – John C. Maxwell
For many of us, change can be hard.
Even when you know that the change you want to make is going to lead to bigger and better things, it can still be difficult to push through your fears and limiting beliefs. Especially with all the BS your inner critic seems to be whispering in your ear!
Unfortunately, if we have changes we want to make in our life, it will require us to step outside of our comfort zone. And we all REALLY like being in our comfort zone, right? We would much rather stay cozy in what we know (even when it’s making us miserable), then to take the tiniest step out into the unknown and unfamiliar.
The truth is, staying comfortable is what stops you from creating the life you really want to live. But working through those fears and limiting beliefs that are keeping you in your comfort zones can be easier than you think…it all starts with a few simple baby steps.
Here are five things you can practice every day that will help you move forward and make positive changes in your life:
1. Make Your Wellbeing Your Number One Priority
How you treat your body, mind, and spirit will determine what you do or don’t do in life. Eating the right kinds of food, staying hydrated, and getting physical activity every day (even a 10-minute walk will make a difference). Practice journaling, gratitude, and acknowledging your daily accomplishments. Remember, taking care of yourself first will give you the energy needed to better take care of the people and things in your life. Need more tips for getting your wellbeing on?
2. Take Time to Create and Connect with Your Vision
There is a saying that, “if you don’t know where you’re going, you’ll likely end up somewhere else.” A powerful vision is made up of your BIG goals and the WHY behind each one of them that makes it so juicy it pulls at your heartstrings and motivates your actions. Every area of our life is integrated, so it’s important to take the time to create goals not only for our careers and businesses but also for our personal life. Your vision will serve as a roadmap for creating the life you REALLY want to live. Not sure where to start? Spend time journaling about what you want your life to look like in 5 or 10 years, starting with the areas you have the most clarity on. Explore your passions, hobbies, and core values…you can even use the people you admire for inspiration. Check out my blog on Finding Your Balance for more inspiration.
3. Be Intentional and Present with Your Day
Life gets busy, and it can be easy to get caught up in our to-do list and lose sight of our BIG goals. Research shows that being able to focus on the here and now, truly living in the present and not stuck in the past or worrying about the future plays a big role in our overall happiness.
A few things that will help you: Plan your day the night before. Create a morning routine that supports your vision…even something as simple as making your bed in the morning will set the tone for your day. Gratitude and journaling are also great ways to stay present. It’s amazing what happens when we acknowledge all the good things in our life and when we can get out thoughts out of our heads and onto paper (or talk about them with a trusted person in your life).
4. Have FUN!
Play is an essential part of a child’s development and happiness, but it is also incredibly important for adults. Make time during each day to do things that make your heart smile. Laughter, music, sunshine, singing…what lights you up? Whatever it is, be intentional about getting more of it in your life and find ways to incorporating into everything you do. Create a fun playlist to listen to while on your way to work, sign up for an art class on the weekend, take singing lessons (I started doing this a couple of months ago), or make a point to get outside and enjoy the fresh air. We are meant to enjoy life…so practice integrating fun in everything you do!
5. Don’t Do It Alone
It’s easier to achieve your BIG goals when you have someone that will encourage you, support you, and hold you accountable. Practice vulnerability by confiding in people you trust and asking for the help and support you need. Tell people about the life you want to create…the more you talk about it, the more clear you’ll get on what you really want, need, and desire. Find an accountability partner or hire a coach (I know a great one!) that can keep you on track and keep you moving forward toward your BIG goals!
Change can be hard, but it’s not impossible. Making these small changes a part of your daily routine will keep you connected to your vision, allow you to take actions outside of your comfort zone, and will help you achieve your BIG goals…bringing you closer to and creating the life you really want to live.
Nicole Comis, Certified Life & Executive Coach, helps business owners and other career-driven professionals achieve their BIG career goals while integrating more balance into their lives. She partners with her clients to gain clarity on what they want their future to look like, face their fears, identify obstacles holding them back, and create a plan to help them achieve BIG, stretchy goals that are outside of their comfort zone. Her coaching practice incorporates her client’s whole life, not just their career, leading to a more balanced, productive, healthy, and happy life. Nicole is a graduate and certified coach from the Accomplishment Coaching Coaches Training Program and is accredited by the International Coach Federation (ICF) as a Professional Certified Coach (PCC). Nicole’s high-energy, judgment-free, fun, no-BS approach helps men and women live a more balanced life with a career they love, fulfilling relationships, a healthy well-being, and killer confidence!
by Nicole Comis | Apr 20, 2019 | Goals
Being super connected to my vision is my compass. It pulls at my heartstrings and keeps me on track. When I’m connected and committed to my vision I’ll risk judgment, rejection, and failure. Being connected to my vision allows me to shift my mindset and look at failure as a way to grow and learn instead of keeping me down. It gives me the courage to keep taking swings even after I miss!
Getting connected to my vision allowed me to quit smoking COLD TURKEY after 22 years of being a smoker!
Being connected to my vision allows me to make commitments outside of my comfort zone in service of achieving my vision. It’s what helps me take actions that I normally wouldn’t have taken. It allows me to say no to the things that aren’t serving me and yes to the things that will. Getting connected to my vision gets me up every morning and gets me to the gym…EVEN after those nights when I didn’t get a good night’s sleep!!!
Discover the Gap
Discover the gap between where you are and where you want to be in all of the areas of your life. Take an honest look at your career, relationships, home environment, finances, health and wellbeing, self-love, personal development and whatever else is important to you, and decide how fulfilled you are in each area.
Shine a Spotlight on your Shit!
Shine a Spotlight on what’s holding you back. Get intimate with your fears, limiting beliefs and survival mechanisms!
Create the Foundation
Our well-being in the foundation of everything we do (or don’t do) and the foundation of our well-being is how we treat ourselves. You can’t show up as your best self if you are angry, annoyed, in pain, lack sleep, etc.
Create and Connect with Your Vision
Take the time to connect with the vision you would have for your life if your fears, limiting beliefs and survival mechanism weren’t holding you back. What do you really want your life to look like? What does it look like in one year? What does it look like in five years?
Understand your why. Ask yourself “why it’s is important to me?” Make it juicy. Getting super connected with your vision will help you stay on track when you get frustrated or temptations are in front of you!
Create a Powerful Plan
1. Break your vision down into objectives.
Objectives are Goals blown up. It will stay consistent no matter what the result looks like. It includes your why…the shit that pulls at your heartstrings.
Here’s an example…
Goal: To lose 20 lbs (okay)
Objective: To live my most happy, healthy and fulfilling life full of strength, flexibility and energy.
2. Create monthly milestones.
Mini, clear and specific goals to help you get to the BIG Goal. I believe baby steps are the key to success!
3. Celebrate your achievements. Attach awards for each small, medium and large milestone.
4. Actions Steps
What actions are you going to take to help you achieve your goal?
What new behaviors will you practice?
5. Get Connected to the Skills Needed to Achieve your Vision
What skills do you have?
What skills do you want to learn?
What skills do you want to delegate?
5. Get Connected to the Resources Needed to Achieve your Vision
Who do you know that can help you? Be specific.
What are your other resources other than people? (software, Google, newsletter software)
Practice, Practice, Practice
It’s totally possible to have it all…a career you love, fulfilling relationships, a healthy wellbeing, killer confidence and whatever else is important to you. Life is too short…do more of what makes you happy. Do those things that make your heart smile!!!
Nicole Comis, Certified Life & Executive Coach, helps business owners and other career-driven professionals achieve their BIG career goals while integrating more balance into their lives. She partners with her clients to gain clarity on what they want their future to look like, face their fears, identify obstacles holding them back, and create a plan to help them achieve BIG, stretchy goals that are outside of their comfort zone. Her coaching practice incorporates her client’s whole life, not just their career, leading to a more balanced, productive, healthy, and happy life. Nicole is a graduate and certified coach from the Accomplishment Coaching Coaches Training Program and is accredited by the International Coach Federation (ICF) as a Professional Certified Coach (PCC). Nicole’s high-energy, judgment-free, fun, no-BS approach helps men and women live a more balanced life with a career they love, fulfilling relationships, a healthy well-being, and killer confidence!
by Nicole Comis | Jun 6, 2018 | Health + Well-being
“Caring for your body, mind, and spirit is your greatest and grandest responsibility. It’s about listening to the needs of your soul and then honoring them.”– Kristi Ling
The most important thing you can do for yourself is to make your well-being your number one
priority.
You might be thinking, “Speak English, Nicole! What the hell does well-being mean?!? Are you talking about my health?”
Well, kinda! “Well-being” is soooo much more than your health. Our well-being is the foundation of everything we do (or don’t do) and the foundation of our well-being is how we treat ourselves. The truth is, you can’t show up as your best self if you are hungry, angry, annoyed, overwhelmed, in pain, tired…
Think about your well-being as the things you think, do and say to give your body, mind, and spirit the fuel it needs to be its best.
Here are some things to think about…
Are you giving your body things to nourish it or cause it harm?
Your body can’t perform it’s best if you are not giving it what it needs to run efficiently.
Are you eating foods that will provide your body with the fuel it needs?
In today’s busy world people are running through the drive-thru to eat on the go and are refueling with caffeine and sugar. People are choosing foods that are convenient or that fill a craving instead of eating foods that give our bodies the vitamins and nutrients it needs to run efficiently.
Are you drinking enough water for your body to stay hydrated?
Many people aren’t aware that experts recommend that you drink half of your body weight in ounces. Did you know if you are thirsty, you are dehydrated?
Are you getting enough physical activity?
Our bodies are meant to move. Walking, yoga, cleaning the house…it doesn’t have to be a killer workout. Aim for at least 20 minutes of physical activity a day. Keep in mind “something” is always better than “nothing”- so on those busy days when you don’t have 20 minutes, do something to get extra movement into your day. Use the bathroom on a different floor, pick a spot in back of the parking lot, furthest from the door, take the stairs instead of the elevator…anything to get some extra activity.
Are you pushing your body too hard?
No pain, no gain is BS! If you push yourself too hard, you can do something that could cause your body harm. Please listen to your body, if it doesn’t feel good…don’t do it!
What do you put in your MIND?
You’re a product of your surroundings. It is impossible to fill your mind with negative messages and live a happy and fulfilling life.
How do you talk to yourself?
Your thoughts affect how you feel and how you behave. Do you treat yourself like your best friend or do you bully yourself? Our thoughts are freaking powerful so please practice being kind to yourself.
Do your surroundings energize or deplete you?
Your environment and the people in your life can either energize or deplete you. Being surrounded by drama or gossip can really weigh us down and take a toll on our energy.
I had a client that started her mornings watching Dr. Phil. She loved the drama and was entertained by the guests’ stories as she got ready for work. Often she would talk about how her day was filled with drama and stress. I challenged her to break up with Dr. Phil for a week and see if there was a difference in how her day unfolded. And sure enough, her days started going more smoothly. What you do first thing in the morning sets your tone for the day, chose to start it on a positive note!
Our well-being is also greatly influenced by those we spend our time with. They can affect our mood, our thinking, our confidence, and even our decisions. Chose to spend time with people who are positive, happy, and supportive.
What messages is your mind receiving?
I love a sit on the edge of your seat kind of movie or TV show, but I avoid watching things that highlight all the negativity, tragedy, and hate in the world especially at night.
Our subconscious mind processes what we consume before sleep more than any other time during the day so watching Criminal Minds before going to bed isn’t going to set you up for “sweet dreams”. Instead, try doing something relaxing like reading a book, journaling, taking a hot bath or engaging in some quality time with a loved one.
What fills your cup?!?
We all have those things that light us up, fuels us, and recharge us – a walk on the beach, listening to music, singing, dancing, connecting with the people you care about. It’s so important to take time to do the things that light you up and fuel your soul!
My primary love language is quality time, so for me, connecting with the people I care about is one of the most important things I can do to support my well-being.
A few months ago, I did some traveling to enjoy some quality time with my family, which started with a trip to L.A. to meet my new nephew! It was so fulfilling to love on that new little guy, having great conversations with my brother and sister-in-law, and spending quality time building living room obstacle courses, participating in lightsaber battles, and having cuddle-time with my favorite 2 ½ year old Stormtrooper. Then a few weeks later, I spent a long weekend in Atlanta hanging out with my parents, sister, and 18-year old nephew. You can probably imagine how much my cup was over filled those couple weeks.
Another guaranteed way for me to source my well-being is to drive with the top down, singing along to the stereo…there is something magical for me in feeling the sun shining on my body as the wind is blowing in my hair.
What depletes you?
It’s also important to take a look at the things that weighs on you, drags you down, and steals your energy. What can you eliminate from your life that is not serving you, making you happy, or supporting your well-being?
If you read last month’s blog you know that over the last handful of months I did some extra spring-cleaning to eliminate all the crapola I didn’t want or need anymore. Eliminating clutter and getting rid of the things that don’t serve you is incredibly supportive of creating a healthy well-being.
Do you take time to unplug and recharge?!?
Then last month, I took my first solo vacation. I spent 5 days at the beach reading, doing some personal development, and goal planning while soaking up the sun! Oh and driving around in a convertible mustang!
It’s so crucial for your well-being to take the time to unplug and recharge!
It’s a good practice to check in with yourself on a regular basis and review your well-being goals. Celebrate what you are doing well and create new actions to practice in the places you want to improve.
What will you commit to doing to support your well-being?!?
Well-being Practice
Take some time to think about the things that recharge you, lights you up, and gives you energy. Create a list 10 items that would support you if you did them on a daily, weekly, semi-monthly, monthly and quarterly basis. Consider scheduling some of these things into your calendar as reoccurring appointments. Track your well-being items daily and check off what you did and did not do. Keep it simple and measurable. And don’t forget to HAVE FUN!!!
Nicole Comis, Certified Life & Executive Coach, helps business owners and other career-driven professionals achieve their BIG career goals while integrating more balance into their lives. She partners with her clients to gain clarity on what they want their future to look like, face their fears, identify obstacles holding them back, and create a plan to help them achieve BIG, stretchy goals that are outside of their comfort zone. Her coaching practice incorporates her client’s whole life, not just their career, leading to a more balanced, productive, healthy, and happy life. Nicole is a graduate and certified coach from the Accomplishment Coaching Coaches Training Program and is accredited by the International Coach Federation (ICF) as a Professional Certified Coach (PCC). Nicole’s high-energy, judgment-free, fun, no-BS approach helps men and women live a more balanced life with a career they love, fulfilling relationships, a healthy well-being, and killer confidence!
by Nicole Comis | Apr 28, 2018 | Health + Well-being
“Unclutter your life. Unclutter your home. We feel best when everything and everyone around us is in harmony and in balance. The peace and the beauty of your home will raise you up, and give energy to your goals.” – Eileen Anglin
Did you know that when you eliminate your life of physical clutter, you also benefit emotionally and mentally?
As a life coach, I believe our home environment plays an important role in creating balance in our lives. Our home is supposed to be our sanctuary. It’s supposed to be the place we feel the most relaxed and at peace. And let’s be honest, when our home is unorganized and filled with clutter, the last thing we feel is relaxed.
Too much crapola will suck your energy!
I’ve always been the organized girl who has a place for everything. When I was a teenager, the place for my clothes happened to be my bedroom floor, but as an adult, I can’t stand when there is crap lying around where it doesn’t belong. Maybe it has something to do with my parents, who programmed “company ready” into my brain or my high school job at McDonald’s where I learned to “Clean as you go!”
I’m human, so although I’m typically pretty organized there are some places (out of sight, of course) where things accumulate. Like those old paint cans I had hiding out in my basement because I didn’t know how to dispose of them properly. Or the folder of “amazing articles to read” that I had neatly tucked away in my filing cabinet for the last several years, just waiting for me to find time to read them.
Like many others, springtime is my time for “spring cleaning”. It’s my time for a little extra purging and organizing. I can’t tell you how good it feels to have finally disposed of those paint cans that would taunt me every time I went downstairs to do my laundry!!!
What if these pants that go up to my boobs go back in style?!?!
I had a client who decided to declutter her house. She had clothes that she hadn’t worn in nearly a decade shoved into several closets, bins under her bed and in her spare room. Can you relate?
She was so excited to tell me that she went through everything and donated all the clothes that were too big for her because she was committed to never fit into them again.
After celebrating her huge achievement, we talked about the things she chose to hang onto and why. Afterward, she decided to go back for another round and ask herself, “Will I ever wear or use this again?” “Does this make me happy?” Sure enough, she ended up getting rid of a couple more bags of clothes!
What if I need this electric bill from 1998?!?
Paperwork is another place where many people accumulate clutter. I think it’s because they are confused as to how long they need to keep their “important” documents. Did you know you only have to keep your tax returns for seven years?
Many years ago, I had a friend who had started a new business and asked me to help her organize her home office. She had boxes of old paperwork jammed in the back of the closet including paycheck stubs from her very first job…they were 20 years old!!!
There are really only a handful of things you need to keep forever. Things like your birth certificate and Social Security card. “How Long to Keep Tax Records and Other Documents” is a great article to check out if you are interested in learning more.
In my friend’s case, there was absolutely no disadvantage to getting rid of all those paystubs…just the benefit of gaining a lot more room in her closet and a little extra energy in her life!
Let’s make your Home Environment YOUR “Happy Place”
Keeping your home environment organized can feel like a major effort but trust me…it’ll be worth it! Below are some of my favorite practices that help me keep my home environment my happy place. I bet they’ll work for you too!
Purge Each Season
Each season, I go through my closets and drawers and get rid all the things I haven’t used or worn in the last year except for those I know I’ll use in the future… like my cocktail dresses!
Spring Cleaning
As I mentioned earlier, this is my time to do a little extra purging and organizing around the house. It’s the time I go through my bathrooms, kitchen, basement, and garage to get rid of all the things I no longer need or use.
I find that after tax time is a great opportunity to go through my office and do that extra paperwork purge. It’s also a great time to go through my electronic files and get rid of anything I no longer need.
“Out with the old, in with the new!”
My favorite thing about online banking is that you have access to your statements at any time, so you don’t need to hang onto a paper copy! I only keep what I need for my taxes.
I replace old investment statements and insurance policies when I get a new one. I toss ATM receipts, deposit slips, and credit card receipts after I reconcile with my monthly statement or my online account activity. I typically balance my personal and business checking accounts every Monday.
Clean as you go!
Thank you for the lesson, Mickey D’s! Instead of letting things pile up to do later, I do them right away. Loading dirty dishes in the dishwasher instead of putting them in the sink. Putting laundry away right after it’s folded instead of leaving it in the basket for days. Making my bed as soon as I get out of it. Wiping down the shower after each use. I even clean my dishes and countertops while I’m cooking.
Incorporating these type of practices into your life will help you create a peaceful home environment, reduce stress, and save you time and energy! What practices will you incorporate into your daily routine to help you stay organized and clutter-free? I’d love to hear from you!
Nicole Comis, Certified Life & Executive Coach, helps business owners and other career-driven professionals achieve their BIG career goals while integrating more balance into their lives. She partners with her clients to gain clarity on what they want their future to look like, face their fears, identify obstacles holding them back, and create a plan to help them achieve BIG, stretchy goals that are outside of their comfort zone. Her coaching practice incorporates her client’s whole life, not just their career, leading to a more balanced, productive, healthy, and happy life. Nicole is a graduate and certified coach from the Accomplishment Coaching Coaches Training Program and is accredited by the International Coach Federation (ICF) as a Professional Certified Coach (PCC). Nicole’s high-energy, judgment-free, fun, no-BS approach helps men and women live a more balanced life with a career they love, fulfilling relationships, a healthy well-being, and killer confidence!
