I Believed Vulnerability Wasn’t Safe—and What Changed Everything
There was a time in my life when I believed vulnerability wasn’t just weakness—it was weakness on steroids.
At a young age, I decided that Happy Nicole was the only version of me that would be liked and accepted.
So I made sure to be bubbly.
Outgoing.
Friendly.
A total social butterfly.
And I thought that’s who I had to be—all the time.
The real parts?
The messy parts?
The times when I was sad or scared?
I hid those parts because I didn’t think anyone wanted to see that version of me.
Here’s the thing: when we carry beliefs like “the real me won’t be liked,” we unconsciously create situations that prove us right.
That’s exactly what happened to me…
About 15 years ago, I was in a really bad place in my life.
On the outside, I was always smiling, but inside, I was barely holding it together.
And one night, out with friends, I over-served myself—something I did often back then.
I ended up outside the bar with a friend and started crying.
Her response?
“I don’t know what to do with this Nicole!”
That moment confirmed my belief:
It’s not safe to show my feelings.
People can’t handle the real me.
And I shut it down.
I shut me down.
I buried my pain.
For years, I hid behind a smile.
I wore the mask of the strong, happy one.
The one who takes care of everyone else.
The one who doesn’t need anyone.
I was the strong one. The one who had it all together.
But the truth is—I was hiding.
No wonder I never truly felt safe in my relationships.
No wonder I felt like a fraud deep down.
Because no one really knew me.
How could they? I didn’t let them.
Beliefs Shape Your Reality
One of the biggest things I’ve learned through coaching and personal development is this:
Our beliefs are powerful.
They shape how we show up—and what we allow ourselves to receive.
They create experiences that prove us right.
“It’s not safe to be vulnerable.”
“The real me won’t be accepted.”
That night outside the bar?
I could’ve been with a different friend.
Someone who would’ve hugged me.
Held space for me.
Told me I wasn’t alone.
But I didn’t attract that—because I didn’t believe it was possible.
That’s how powerful our unconscious beliefs are.
Beliefs Can Be Changed
The good news? We have the power to change our beliefs.
And when we do—that’s when everything changes.
This is the work I do with my clients every day—helping them shift the beliefs running their lives and start showing up as their powerful selves.
Because when you change your limiting beliefs, you change the way you show up.
And when you change the way you show up, your whole life starts to feel different.
Ask yourself this:
What might change if you finally gave yourself permission to be vulnerable and real?
If this resonated with you, it’s time to explore what beliefs are shaping your life.
You don’t have to figure it out alone.
Book a free coaching session and let’s talk about what’s possible when you take the mask off.
